Colman Noctor: This is the early years sleep advice every parent should know 

Child psychotherapist Dr Colman Noctor outlines common sleep challenges facing parents of little ones

A child’s inability to sleep is not a reflection on parents, whose role at every developmental stage is to be calm and reassuring. Picture: iStock

WHETHER it’s an exhausted parent whose baby won’t settle or is worried that leaving their whimpering child alone at night might cause long-term harm, sleep remains a common concern.

Sleep in early childhood is much more than just rest. It fosters growth, brain development, emotional regulation, and immunity. 

However, for families navigating the early months and years, it can feel like something to chase and negotiate. Understanding what is typical and what helps can bring relief.

First months

Newborns don’t come with a fully functioning circadian rhythm. Their internal clock, which eventually signals that darkness means night and light means day, takes time to set properly. 

In those early months, most babies sleep between 14 and 17 hours a day, but they do this in short bursts of 30 to 90 minutes. This early pattern isn’t a problem to be fixed; it is biology making sure babies feed often and stay close to caregivers.

Your baby sleeping in the same room as you for their first six months, whether in a Moses basket, bassinet, or cosleeping cot, is recommended by the American Academy of Paediatrics, not only for safer sleep but also to support feeding and bonding.

In these early weeks, consistency is more important than a specific routine.

Dim lights at night, normal household lighting and noise during the day, and gentle cues, such as swaddling or soft sounds, to signal sleep. Responding promptly to cries or feeds is not ‘spoiling’ a newborn— it lays the foundation for secure attachment and emotional regulation. 

Research from renowned US sleep psychologist Jodi Mindell found that a consistent nightly bedtime routine helps improve multiple aspects of infant and toddler sleep, especially wakefulness and sleep continuity, as well as maternal mood.

Remember: If you have a baby with colic or reflux, none of the usual methods may work. Their wakefulness isn’t a failure in your routine; it’s just the discomfort your child is experiencing. Be gentle with yourself. As a parent of a colicky baby, I can confirm that parenting through these months is tough enough without blaming yourself.

Three to six months

Sleep during this phase gradually becomes more consolidated. Babies develop more mature sleep cycles, and many start to manage longer stretches during the night. This also marks the period of the ‘four-month sleep regression’, which, despite its name, is less a regression and more a developmental leap. 

Sleep may worsen before it improves. Think of this as a temporary lapse, not evidence that you have done anything wrong.

This period is ideal for establishing consistent bedtime routines.

Research by psychologist Barbara Fiese and colleagues, in Illinois in 2021, found that routines, even short ones, enhance both the duration and quality of sleep.

A routine doesn’t need to be elaborate. Fifteen to 30 minutes suffice: A warm bath, a quiet cuddle, a feed, perhaps a gentle song or story.

But the true magic ingredient is consistency. Repeating the same sequence each night creates predictable cues that gradually wire in to the child’s developing nervous system.

Six to 12 months

Many babies can sleep for six to eight hours at six months, and some for even longer. Night wakings still happen and are entirely normal, especially if feeding or rocking has become a strong sleep association. These aren’t bad habits; they’re simply learned cues that can be gently reshaped.

This is the age when some families explore self-soothing methods, which don’t necessarily mean leaving the baby to cry alone. It usually involves responsive intervals, with brief pauses to see if they can resettle with minimal support.

Research in 2013 by Australian psychologist Amanda Richdale, published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ), shows that such behavioural infant-sleep interventions can improve sleep and that long-term follow-up shows no adverse impact on the child’s emotional wellbeing, but waiting while a baby struggles to settle can be emotionally challenging for parents. 

If it feels too stressful, that’s a good reason to pause and try a gentler approach.

Practical steps include placing your baby down while they are drowsy rather than fully asleep, thereby giving them a chance to practice settling. Gentle pats, quiet shushing, or a calm voice can help.

Most babies in this age group take two to three naps during the day, amounting to three to four hours.

Well-timed naps promote better night sleep, not worsen it.

One to two years

Toddlers usually sleep 11 to 14 hours in a 24-hour period, including an afternoon nap. Their cot becomes an important part of their sense of security; not a place of confinement, but a familiar environment that encourages rest.

Night wakings generally decrease during this period, though teething, developmental leaps, or separation anxiety can still disrupt sleep. A consistent bedtime, often between 7pm and 7.30pm for many families, remains a key element of good sleep.

Wind-down routines, such as quiet play, a bath, or story time, help little ones shift from high energy to rest mode. Comfort objects, such as favourite blankets or soft toys, often become strong sleep cues. Nap timing is crucial — naps too late in the day can disrupt bedtime, so aiming for roughly midday to 2.30pm works well for many toddlers.

Toddlers often resist bedtime as part of normal boundary testing. Offering small choices (‘blue or green pyjamas?’) can reduce the power struggle without compromising the structure they need.

Screens should be avoided near bedtime, as they interfere with melatonin production at all ages. While one might assume that children under the age of two are unlikely to be exposed to screens, research by Angela Staples and colleagues, at the University of Michigan in 2021, found that 80% of toddlers had used screens during the hour before bedtime. About 50% of children had screens as part of their bedtime routine at least once, and excessive evening screen use was linked to more parent-reported sleep problems.

Two to three years

Moving from a cot to a bed usually happens between ages two and three, although readiness can vary greatly. Signs that it might be time include climbing out of the cot, needing more space, or showing a growing interest in ‘big kid’ beds.

Safety is the top priority. If climbing out of the cot becomes unsafe, it is wise to switch to a toddler bed or a low-floor bed with rails. Be prepared for some boundary-testing during the transition. Many toddlers suddenly enjoy getting up repeatedly. Calm and consistent guidance, redirection, and plenty of patience are essential.

Helpful tools include gentle routines for returning them to their toddler bed: Little conversation and minimal fuss; just consistent repetition. Sticker charts to reward staying in bed can help. Nightlights and a safe, uncluttered bedroom make children feel secure without becoming overstimulated.

Common sleep challenges

Even with excellent routines, sleep disruptions happen. They are part of normal development, not signs of parental failure.

If your child frequently wakes during the night, it is often related to developmental leaps, illness, teething, or transitions. Stay consistent with your routine, provide calm reassurance, and assess whether daytime sleep is too long or poorly timed.

If your child is an early riser, and mornings regularly start before 6.30am, blackout blinds can help, or sometimes a slightly later bedtime works, even if it feels counterintuitive.

Bedtime resistance is almost universal in toddlers. If this happens, use warmth and structure: Calm limits, predictable routines, and short negotiations. Stretching bedtime too late only reinforces the struggle and increases the chance of having a cranky, sleep-deprived child in the morning.

Decades of sleep research, by experts such as Professor Helen Ball (Durham University), Cathy Hill (University of Southampton), and Alice Gregory (University of London) all highlight a few reliable truths:

• Consistent routines lead to longer, higher-quality sleep;
• Self-soothing skills, when developmentally appropriate, support more consolidated nights;
• Daytime sleep matters: Not too much, not too late. An over-tired child often has difficulty falling asleep;
• Environment counts: Cool room, dim light, quiet space, and age-appropriate bedding all reduce disruptions.

This advice may sound simple, but sleep in the early years is complex. It varies through cycles, growth spurts, developmental leaps, regressions, and recoveries. One week, your child sleeps well; the next, it feels impossible. None of this reflects your worth as a parent. What matters is consistently showing up with warmth and predictability.

Your child’s sleep needs will evolve just as their appetite, language, and temperament do. Through each stage, your role remains the same: To be the steady, reassuring presence that helps them feel safe enough to rest. That said, some children are naturally ‘good sleepers’, while others are not. Often, their patterns reflect their temperament rather than your technique.

Sleep is not a reflection of parental competence, but a developmental process that varies from child to child. Sleep can also be a signpost to a problem rather than the problem itself. It can be useful to look at where the signpost is pointing, as changes to daytime routines can often disrupt night-time sleep.

With patience, knowledge, and kindness towards your child and yourself, you can nurture a family culture that views rest as nourishing rather than something to fear. However, if you find yourself struggling to stay calm, steady, and zen at 3am with an important day at work the next day, cut yourself some slack. Everyone would struggle in those conditions.

• Dr Colman Noctor is a child psychotherapist