Joanna Fortune: Does my anxious child need professional help? 

Your first step is to take time to reflect on his anxiety. How long has he been experiencing it? Do you know what might have triggered it? It is OK if you do not know the answers, as his behaviour can still be addressed without identifying the root cause
Joanna Fortune: Does my anxious child need professional help? 

Dr Joanna Fortune: "Messy play is very effective in helping children externalise internal messy feelings."

What can I do about my 10-year-old son’s habit of touching the door frame every time he walks through it? 

If he forgets, which is rare, he has to walk through the door again. He was an anxious and clingy baby, which probably explains his behaviour. Does he need professional help?

This sounds like a compulsive behaviour in that he is not ‘choosing’ to touch the door frame, but instead feels he has to.

Intrusive or repetitive thoughts may cause anxiety, and so he is using the compulsive behaviour as an attempt to master the tension. 

Ideally, we would get to the root cause of his anxiety and address it so he no longer has cause to use the behaviour and relinquishes it.

Your first step is to take time to reflect on his anxiety. 

How long has he been experiencing it? Do you know what might have triggered it? 

It is OK if you do not know the answers, as his behaviour can still be addressed without identifying the root cause.

The second step is to refer him to a registered child psychotherapist or psychologist who can support him. 

Difficult feelings (like anxiety) are difficult to talk about, so with children this age, someone who uses play-based therapy is often most effective. 

Through play, children can express, process and make meaning of complex feelings that words alone cannot reach.

The third step involves structured play. Increase his access to sensory play at home.

  • Messy play is very effective in helping children externalise internal messy feelings.
  • Focus on at least 15 minutes daily of this type of play. Some examples to get you started are:
  • Make and play with slime — fill a basin or large baking bowl and make a few different colours;
  • Squirt shaving foam (or bath mousse foam) onto a baking tray and hide small bits of Lego inside — let him move his hands through the foam to find the Lego bits, and once found, he can use those to make something quirky from his imagination;
  • Fill a bowl with lukewarm water, add a squirt of washing-up liquid and a teaspoon of cinnamon or ginger. Let him swirl the water so that he makes bubbles while feeling the warm water on his hands and smelling the cinnamon and ginger. You can make it more playful by sitting with him and passing the bubbles over and back, hand-to-hand with him. You can also put some small toys in the water for him to ‘wash’ or play with.
  • Place pieces of Lego inside an ice-cube tray, fill it with water, and then freeze. Each day, after school or at the start or end of the day, place a bowl of lukewarm water in front of him and have him hold an ice cube in each hand and submerge both hands in the water. He must sit, breathe and wait for the ice to melt in his hands before retrieving the Lego piece from the bowl. Each day, he can add the Lego pieces together to build something. This is a super activity for a sensory slow-down and is one the whole family can do together.

    Sensory play helps to lower anxiety. I regularly post play therapy videos on my Instagram feed for those looking for more ideas. (@drjoannafortune)

    • If you have a question for child psychotherapist Dr Joanna Fortune, please send it to parenting@examiner.ie

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