Joanna Fortune: Our son won't compete if he thinks someone else will win

Is this just a phase? We are afraid he will miss out on wonderful opportunities in the future if he deems it a win-lose scenario

Dr Joanna Fortune: "A thing we often see with super competitive children is high perfectionistic tendencies. In your son’s case, this appears to be self-oriented perfectionism, whereby he holds himself to very high standards and only engages in family games if he can be guaranteed mastery."

We have two boys; one just turned eight, and the other is 16 months younger. Overall, the eldest is doing very well. Our primary concern, however, is how important winning or being the best is to him.

While this is probably very normal, we worry because he refuses to partake in family activities for fear of losing or being caught in tag, for example. If he thinks someone is faster, more skilful, stronger, etc, he won't join in.