Joanna Fortune: My son won't eat unless his food is separated 

Is this just a phase or should I be worried?

Joanna Fortune

CHILD PSYCHOTHERAPIST

My son, who is five years old, refuses to eat his dinner unless all the food is separated on the plate. He always eats the potatoes first, meat next and then vegetables. For obvious reasons, stews and soups are out of the question. Is this just a phase or should I be worried?

Generally, my advice is to avoid making food a battleground when it comes to food and children. Take the emotional charge off the table. Once their diet is sufficiently healthy and nutritious to fuel growth, development and active engagement in their activities, there is no need to make it an issue.

Little of a young child’s world is within their sphere of control, and they may seek to exert control in the areas where they can. Food is one of those areas. If this is the case, perhaps your child feels more in control when food is experienced as consistent and predictable. When food mixes and combines, it may be much less so. We also see this with so-called 'picky eaters' who can be anxious about food and eating.

If a child does not like a particular food or avoids trying something new/unfamiliar, then the idea of food touching and mixing can trigger an anxious response because they fear they may accidentally eat something they don’t like. There is no one better than a young child to forensically isolate that rogue piece of onion your blender missed and declare the meal inedible. 

In more extreme examples, some people have a phobic response to foods touching. This is called brumotactillophobia and can be very problematic if not managed. Someone with this phobia should see their GP and be referred to a psychologist and dietician for support. The same would go for someone who has a sensory aversion to food or experiences a sensory overload when looking at combined food on a plate. Mixed textures are also more challenging to process and identify, requiring a level of oral-motor skill that some children with more sensitive sensory systems don’t have.

From your letter, it sounds as though your son is eating balanced and nutritious meals, albeit in a controlled way. Consider getting him a portioned plate that ensures individual components can sit on one plate without touching. I also suggest that you introduce some playfulness around food. Start with 15-minutes of this type of play per day, and you can build it up from there:

·When you peel your vegetables save the peelings in a bowl and give them to him to play with and make 'food art' so that he is playing with a variety of textures together in a bowl.

· You can also play some food 'experiments' without the expectation that he eat or taste these. Take small amounts of foods he likes (mashed potatoes and a few vegetables) and challenge him to come up with as many combinations as possible by mixing small quantities. Carrots mashed into potatoes, then carrots and cauliflower mixed in with potatoes or parsnips and carrots blended.

· Ensure he has access to a lot of sensory/messy play in general to explore textures through touch and smell.

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