Expert tips to motivate yourself to make changes that actually last

It takes more than the start of a new season and wishful thinking to kickstart a healthy lifestyle. We talk to experts about practical, science-based strategies for lasting change

Neuroscientist and author Nicole Vignola: Telling yourself that you want to get fit will get you so fa

September's back-to-school vibes can make it feel more like the start of a new year than dull, dark January. There is a palpable sense of knuckling down to work and recommitting to life goals.

Three experts in neuroscience and positive psychology tell us how we can harness September’s motivational energy to our advantage and share practical strategies to achieve lasting change.

Nicole Vignola is a British-based neuroscientist and author of REWIRE: Break the Cycle, Alter Your Thoughts and Create Lasting Change. Her first tip is setting small, medium-term goals. She gives the example of two aspiring runners to explain why.

One aims to run a marathon in a year. The other has the same ultimate aim but breaks it down into smaller steps.

They want to be able to run for 30 seconds. Then one minute. Then one kilometre, two kilometres and so on.

Who is most likely to succeed? The latter, because as Vignola says, “their goals are easier to visualise, maintain and attain”.

The brain’s neurochemistry is also at play, particularly dopamine, which is released in anticipation of accomplishing a goal.

“That release feels pleasurable and creates a positive feedback loop that motivates us to continue to try to achieve further goals,” says Vignola.

“However, the brain won’t release anticipatory dopamine if our goal is too far away. Without it, our motivation can wane.”

For Dublin-based psychologist and researcher at the RCSI’s centre for Positive Health Sciences, Kristina Shea, goal attainment is about small wins.

She gives two reasons why. One is that focussing on small manageable tasks “reduces fear and clarifies direction”. The other is that what she calls “ongoing bursts of accomplishment” drive us to continue progressing towards our ultimate goal.

Arrival fallacy

Dr Tal Ben-Shahar: 'Ask yourself not only what you want to achieve but why it’s important to you.'

Happiness psychologist and author Dr Tal Ben-Shahar from New York warns of a common pitfall associated with goal setting. It’s what he calls ‘the arrival fallacy’.

“It’s the illusion that happiness will come once we reach certain milestones like job promotions, financial goals or crossing the finish line of a marathon,” he says. “We expect joy as a result of achieving the sought-after objective, but the feeling of elation fades quickly, replaced by emptiness.”

He uses an anecdote from the bestselling book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance to explain why this happens.

“The author joins monks on a climb in the Himalayas, and even though he’s the youngest, he struggles most. He gives up while the monks reach the peak, and afterwards, he realises it was because he was so fixated on the peak that he became overwhelmed by all that lay ahead. The monks focused on the peak only to make sure they were staying on course. Knowing they were headed in the right direction allowed them to enjoy each step.”

That’s how he urges us to use long-term goals – to free us up to focus on the here and now. “Happiness isn’t about making it to the peak,” he says. “Nor is it about ambling aimlessly around the mountain. It’s about the experience of climbing towards our goal.”

Rather than basing goals in external validation like status or wealth attainment, which can leave us feeling hollow when we achieve them, he recommends aligning goals with core values.

“Ask yourself not only what you want to achieve but why it’s important to you,” he says. “That will help you anchor your goals in personal meaning, which will create motivation that is both more sustainable and more fulfilling.”

Vignola gives an example of this kind of goal-setting in action. “Say you want to get fit,” she says. “Telling yourself that you want to get fit will get you so far but telling yourself you want to get fit so that you are able to play with your children will get you further. It will push you to work on your fitness and build habits for lasting change.”

Attaching emotional reasons to the achievement of goals can help.

Shea believes that setting goals to enhance pre-existing strengths as opposed to improving perceived weaknesses is a recipe for success. “Trying to fix weaknesses can be draining,” she says. 

“And it’s unlikely that we will ever become very good at something we are naturally bad at. It makes more sense to leverage our innate talents, passions and abilities. Doing so will energise us and bolster the psychological resources we need to make meaningful life changes.”

She acknowledges that it can be difficult to take this strengths-based approach when our brains are wired to work against us, a tendency known as the negativity bias. She describes this bias as “an evolutionary mechanism where negative emotions and experiences have a stronger psychological impact than positive ones”.

It can serve us at times, prompting us to consider risks and potential problems. But it can also hinder goal achievement.

“Our brains can become trapped in thoughts that limit our potential,” says Shea. “We can fall prey to catastrophic thinking, where we assume the worst possible outcomes, or imposter syndrome, where we doubt our own abilities and accomplishments. 

And these self-limiting beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Because we believe we’re not good enough or destined to fail, we unconsciously engage in behaviours that confirm those beliefs by avoiding challenges or giving up more easily.

What can we do to counter such negativity? Vignola says it can help to understand where these negative feelings come from.

“Any sort of change creates stress, which often comes with fear,” she says. “This is because our brain is programmed to keep us safe and change — even positive change — can threaten that sense of safety.”

To add to this, the brain wants to maximise its energy, which drives it to resist change further. 

“It likes doing things the same way every time so it doesn’t have to expend much effort and can save energy for more cognitively demanding tasks,” she says. 

“This means that when you do try to change, your brain will work against you. But once you understand that it’s normal to feel this resistance, you can push through it. The people who achieve their goals aren’t people who don’t feel fear. They feel it but do it anyway.”

Visualisation is another helpful tactic. Vignola believes it works “because our brains find it easier to do what they have already seen being done. Simply imagining yourself going for a run in the morning increases your chances of actually doing it when morning comes.”

Habit stacking

Kristina Shea: 'Ongoing bursts of accomplishment' drive us to continue progressing towards our ultimate goal

Shea advises habit stacking, which means adding a new behaviour to an already established routine.

For instance, say you want to incorporate more mindfulness into your day. It’s likely that you already take a few minutes for yourself to drink a morning cup of coffee or tea. Why not do so quietly, focusing on your breath as you sip your drink?

You will find plenty to choose from online.“Slight modifications like this build sustainable practices,” she says.

It’s also worth paying attention to the influences that surround you, which is why Vignola encourages social media culls.

“Lots of us compare ourselves unfavourably to people with unattainable lifestyles online,” she says. “These feelings don’t inspire us to work towards our goals. We should be careful of the online content we consume and get rid of what’s unhelpful.”

The same applies in real life. “People who find fault and cast doubt on our abilities can make us question ourselves,” says Shea. “Try to surround yourself with people who believe in you instead. You could even ask them to partner with you in pursuing your goals. Research shows it can help to pursue goals in partnership with someone else.”

Whatever your goals this season — whether it’s getting fitter, learning a new language or meditating daily — they require adhering to a few key concepts, according to Ben-Shahar.

“Identifying your strengths, aligning your goals with them, reflecting regularly on how you’re living your values and celebrating progress creates a virtuous cycle that builds purpose and sustains motivation,” he says.

“It transforms the back-to-school energy of September into habits that will last throughout the year.”