'I spent years being ashamed of myself and not speaking about it': Opening up about men's health

Men have long been too shy or too macho to talk about their health, whether mental or physical, or even see a doctor, but that is starting to change.

Sean Blake: “I even have my own social-media page, where I talk about how I’m doing. That’s something I would never have done before.” Picture: Moya Nolan.

When it comes to their health, Irish men have often taken their lead from the ostrich: Burying their head in the sand and suffering through either physical or mental pain, rather than going to their GP or even ‘troubling’ their friend with an issue.

Thankfully, things are changing. Men are now talking more to medical professionals and their friends. Increased awareness around mental health and physical wellbeing, along with campaigns targeting men’s health, seem to be making a difference.

There is still room for improvement, and the upcoming annual Men’s Health Week (June 9 to 15) will again shine a spotlight on preventable health issues, the importance of early detection, and the benefits of healthier lifestyles.

This year’s theme, ‘Shoulder to shoulder, connecting for health,’ encourages men to connect with one another and, if needed, to seek out relevant support services.

Former Ireland rugby international Bernard Jackman has been a supporter of Men’s Health Week for many years. He has seen the difference that access to services and attitude to health can make. “I was very lucky,” says Jackman. “As professionals, we had medicals every Monday and access to a doctor whenever we needed it. 

"Then, as a coach, I got regular feedback about my team, whether that was from physios or a doctor. That was a bit different, and it properly shocked me. 

"As a player, you only really know about your own health but, as a coach, you know so much more about different ailments and things that are going on in players’ lives, maybe around mental health. 

Sean Blake who is in recovery from an eating disorder. Picture: Moya Nolan.

"These were the fittest professional athletes, who were eating the right things and getting well looked after, and yet they had lots of different things going on.

“When I got out of the game and I was in the corporate world, I really saw the difference in people who didn’t have the time, sometimes even the money, to get themselves checked, and I wanted to help highlight the importance of getting yourself checked out. I think, as men, we often just carry on and keep the head down.”

When he stopped playing, Jackman was at the forefront of highlighting an issue that had dogged his beloved game for years: Concussion. Though it took some time, changes around concussion and the rules around tackling that often cause it have made the game safer.

“When I retired in 2010, I spoke about how we weren’t taking concussion seriously,” Jackman says. “In the dressing room, you were seen as soft if you missed a game because of it. And I think that’s similar to men’s attitudes to lots of things around health. We just don’t want to stop and say, ‘I need to get this looked at’. Thankfully, the attitude has changed; players are now happy to come off if there is a suspicion of concussion, and if they are concussed, they stay off.”

That type of culture shift is precisely what Men’s Health Week aims to inspire across the broader health spectrum. Once taboos are broken, more men tend to speak up.

Speaking out helps

Dubliner Seán Blake is bravely challenging those taboos. Some years ago, he became obsessed with running and with losing weight. He would wake at 5am to run in secret and rigidly control his diet.

Eventually, he was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. He doesn’t say how much weight he lost, but he was days away from a serious health crisis, before getting the treatment that likely saved his life.

“I spent years being ashamed of myself and not speaking about it,” says the 43-year-old. “I don’t know where that came from, but it’s definitely some sort of trauma. Only for my wife, and, later, my brother, I don’t know where I’d be. He was my rock during the toughest times. We’re closer than we’ve ever been.”

The father of four has gone from “painfully shy” to becoming an advocate. He now volunteers and speaks publicly about his struggles, in the hope that he can help others.

Last year, he appeared in a television documentary, Anorexia, My Family & Me.

“Speaking out has helped me so much,” Blake says. “I even have my own social-media page, where I talk about how I’m doing. That’s something I would never have done before.”

Through the likes of Blake and well-known advocates, such as Bressie and Brent Pope, men’s mental health is now part of the public discourse.

Dr Noel Richardson, of the HSE health & wellbeing team, says that over the last five to 10 years men have become more open about their mental wellbeing.

“There is a greater willingness to normalise conversations around mental health,” he says. “Advocates are challenging the stigma. They’re saying that being vulnerable is part of the human condition, and it’s normal to feel low at some points.”

‘Vital’ that men talk

Changing that culture can be challenging. As Colin Fowler, director of operations at Men’s Health Forum in Ireland (MHFI), points out, encouraging men to look at health, let alone deal with it, involves a different approach to communication.

“Firstly, we don’t overload them with information,” says Fowler. “You want to whet their appetite, so they will want to find out more. Also, most men have a black sense of humour, so if you can add a bit of humour, they’re more likely to engage, because it’s less threatening.”

The final piece of the jigsaw was inspired by MHFI founder Dr Ian Banks and his interest in cars. “Men like things set out logically,” says Fowler. “So, in the early 2000s, Ian approached publishers Haynes manuals and asked them if they could write about men’s health in the same way they approach writing about cars. That’s how the idea of comparing health checks to MOTs or NCTs came about, comparing the body to a machine needing regular servicing.”

Dr Noel Richardson, National Centre for Men’s Health Ireland, IT Carlow and HSE Health & Wellbeing

MHFI’s work was pioneering, and many of its ideas have been adopted worldwide. Thanks to its campaigns and advocacy, Ireland became the first country in the world to create a national men’s health policy.

A second five-year government policy was published in 2024, with goals to improve men’s health in ways that benefit not only themselves but also their families and communities.

“Men used to associate health with illness,” says Fowler. “We spent money treating men when they were sick, but not enough to keep them well. If we can help men understand that staying well helps them care for their families and communities, it resonates more than simply telling them to go to the doctor.”

For Seán Blake, it all starts with a conversation.

“It’s vital that men talk,” he says. “It makes a huge difference. It takes the weight of the world off your shoulders. And you’d be surprised, people don’t judge you. Everyone has something going on, and talking can make the difference between life and death.”

• BodyWhys - The Eating Disorder Association of Ireland Helpline: 01 2107906; email support: [e-mail]
• Shine Mental Health Recovery Support Services, 086 0407701; [e-mail]
• Men’s Health Forum in Ireland, www.mhfi.org

Advocates challenge the stigma. They’re saying being vulnerable is part of the human condition