Dr Tony Bates: We are all vulnerable — pain is something we all have in common

We can ‘sit at the edge of our pain’ and, in a soft, compassionate tone, ask: ‘What’s happening inside me?’ ‘What happened that hurt me so much?’

Dr Tony Bates: "Being caught in a cycle of pain can be exhausting. We face each day with the best of intentions. We make a list of things we need to do. Given how little energy we have, we keep it realistic. But even the simplest list can feel too much. While the rest of the world is getting on with their lives, all we can think about is the effort it takes to get through the day." Picture: Moya Nolan

Pain has been an important teacher for me. It rumbled away inside me for years. I was ashamed of how emotionally mixed up I was and afraid that people would never accept me if they knew. So, I found the perfect place to hide my pain from the world. I became a psychologist.

People assume mental health practitioners have their inner lives in order. But the truth is, life is very unpredictable for all of us. And no matter what any of us say, we are all vulnerable. Pain is something we all have in common.