Workplace Wellbeing: When you get it wrong at work 

Instead of running for cover when we make a mistake, it’s best to maintain perspective, acknowledge the error, learn from it and move on

We are more likely to make mistakes when new to a job and unsure of our role. Picture: iStock

TALENT spotter Dick Rowe made a mistake at work one day in 1962. He was auditioning bands and decided to sign Brian Poole and the Tremeloes. Not a bad choice, and they did have modest success.

But what of the band he rejected? Embarrassingly for Rowe, they went on to become the biggest band of all time, The Beatles.

Others have made similarly monumental mistakes. Twelve publishing houses passed on Harry Potter. Three employees at New York’s Citibank had the ultimate bad day at the office in 2020, when they transferred $900m to lenders instead of $9m

While you may not have blundered quite so spectacularly, you will likely have slipped up at work. To err is human, after all.

“Telling yourself you can’t make mistakes is unreasonable, unhealthy, and sets up a totally unrealistic standard that’s impossible to maintain,” says executive career coach Melissa Stone.

Patricia Byron, an associate lecturer in leadership and management at University College Dublin and an executive coach, says mistakes are opportunities for learning.

“If it weren’t for scientists making mistakes and having the positive approach that out of failure comes new learning, we wouldn’t have the amazing breakthroughs we have today,” Ms Byron says.

Some of us can struggle to adopt this approach. “This is because everyone perceives mistakes differently,” says Ms Byron. “For some people, they are personal and a reflection of their ability, intelligence, and competence. Others have been taught to see them as learning opportunities and a chance to review processes and grow.”

How people responded to our slip-ups in the past can form the blueprint for our own response. “If we’re chastised for mistakes as children, that muscle memory kicks in as adults,” says Ms Byron. “We go into self-flagellation mode whenever we make mistakes. A similar thing can happen if we work for someone who treats mistakes as the worst thing in the world. We become conditioned to this and become anxious if we make an error.”

Our personality type has a role to play, too. “People who tend toward perfectionism or high conscientiousness can view mistakes as personal failures,” says Ms Byron.

Patricia Byron: lecturer at UCD

Acknowledge the mistake

No matter your personality type or conditioning, it’s natural to feel bad when you mess up at work. “Our body reacts emotionally,” says Ms Byron. “We break into a sweat and get that sinking feeling.”

We have to process these emotions before moving past them to respond logically. “We need to stop the spiral and we do that by acknowledging that a mistake has been made,” she says.

Maintaining perspective is vital, says Ms Stone. “If you’re feeling shame or embarrassment, ask yourself what’s so shameful or embarrassing. Are you being overly critical of yourself? Is there evidence that supports the way you’re thinking? Nine times out of 10, there isn’t.”

Ms Byron teaches her clients a method, which she calls CALM, for dealing with mistakes. “C for communicate,” she says. “State what the mistake is, first of all to yourself, and then decide who else needs to be informed.”

“A is assess. What has happened and what needs to be done about it? L for learn. You need to learn what can be done differently in future. And M is for move on. If you apologise when your mistake affects others and make amends by taking responsibility and offering solutions, you should then learn from the experience and not dwell on it anymore. Don’t beat yourself up about it or let it affect your future actions.”

The last thing you should do is hide your mistake, says Ms Stone. “It reinforces the idea that mistakes are shameful, which they are not,” she says. “It means there’s a missed opportunity to improve and grow and it can also mean that we fail to recognise when a mistake is telling us something, maybe that we need time off to mentally rest and reset.”

However, this doesn’t mean you should share your slip-ups with everyone. “Before informing others, consider the extent of your error and why others need to know,” says Ms Stone. “Does it materially impact anything? What can they learn from it? There’s a big difference between hiding a mistake because you attach fear and shame to it and not sharing because there is no need to do so.”

Sometimes, you can resolve the situation yourself. Other times, an apology is needed to rebuild trust and minimise the impact on your professional credibility.

Ms Stone recommends phrasing this apology carefully. “Before you make it, consider your role in what happened, what you wish you had done differently and will do differently moving forward,” she says. “Holding yourself accountable means not only saying you’re sorry, but showing your genuine intention to avoid making this mistake again.”

Being honest and direct is always the most professional approach. “Don’t deny responsibility by saying it wasn’t you or trying to apportion blame to someone else,” says Ms Byron. “Don’t minimise the situation by saying it wasn’t a big deal or making excuses. Instead, admit that a mistake has been made, you’re sorry it happened, and will do everything you can to help rectify the situation and prevent it from happening in future.”

Keri Denney. Photograph Moya Nolan

New to the job

There are times when we’re more likely to slip up. One is when we are new to our jobs. “We don’t even know what we’re supposed to know and can end up making mistakes,” says Ms Byron.

Another is when we’re under stress. “When our brains are stressed, they don’t function well, which leads to mistakes,” says Ms Bryon. “When stressed, we should allow ourselves more time for reflection. Simple things like telling colleagues you will get back to them, rather than making quick decisions in the heat of the moment, can help prevent mistakes from being made.”

People also worry about making mistakes when they move into leadership roles. “They try to avoid making mistakes themselves and often micromanage their teams so that they don’t make mistakes either,” says Ms Byron. “This creates a stressful environment for everyone.”

Ms Stone says managers should create a psychologically safe environment to prevent such an outcome. “This is an environment in which staff feel free to admit mistakes and learning from mistakes is encouraged,” she says. “It has to be driven from the top. If the CEO is open about learning from mistakes, that will filter down through the entire management team and positively affect staff in their day-to-day working environment.”

Keri Denney struggled with admitting to mistakes when she started in customer service 25 years ago. “I didn’t always react well,” says the 51-year-old Californian, who lives in Kildare. “I’d feel like I had disappointed people and I’d react defensively.”

She would also become emotional, which proved to be counterproductive. “Getting emotional about mistakes made it harder for me to learn from them,” she says. “So I’d end up making them again.”

Because her organisation was supportive, management helped. “They showed me how to accept mistakes and grow my confidence, so I could admit to and grow from them,” she says. In the years since then, Ms Denney quit customer service, retrained as a massage therapist, moved to Ireland, and added Zumba fitness instructor and purveyor of essential oils and wellness products to her career description. She has also learned more about dealing with mistakes.

“I now try to think before reacting,” she says. “I’m upfront with clients when I make mistakes and never blame others for what’s my fault.” It’s through making mistakes that Ms Denney has learned these lessons. “We all grow and develop with each bump in the road, don’t we,” she says.