Talk to me: I'm having a mid-career crisis and I no longer find my job challenging 

Psychologist Caroline Martin is here to answer your questions on whatever issues you are dealing with in life

As we enter the second half of our lives, we begin to look within and question whether we have achieved our full potential. 

I’ve been working with the same company for the past 20 years, and I’ve reached the point where I no longer find my job challenging. I’ve applied for promotion twice but was turned down in favour of younger staff members. I could look for work outside the company, but I’m in my mid-50s, so it’s unlikely I’d even get an interview. My wife says I should accept what’s happening and develop new interests. But I feel I’ve more to give. I don’t want to watch the clock between now and retirement.

A mid-career crisis is a tale as old as time and shared by some of the greats, including Michelangelo and Dante. While Michelangelo completed the David sculpture and the roof of the Sistine Chapel before he turned 40, it was at the age of 55, after a 15-year lull, that he created the Medici tomb. This masterpiece was followed by The Last Judgement, which some consider his most intricate work. Covering the Sistine Chapel’s altar wall, the famous fresco was recently captured in a cheeky photograph by actor Russell Crowe (58) during a private viewing. There is something apt about a man in his 50s standing in awe of the work completed by another man in his 50s.

When did society decide that ageing and productivity are incompatible? I believe we’ve been handed a questionable playbook for this stage of life, a playbook perhaps written by industries dependent on the belief that our value is linked to youth. The reality is that our creativity can paradoxically experience a rebirth as our focus on death sharpens.

Your query may represent a confrontation with your status quo and a readiness to explore how you now pursue your “North Star”. For so much of our life, we are guided by our family, societal, and workplace systems, and this can send us on various, albeit often rewarding, tangents. However, as we enter the second half of our lives, we begin to look within and question whether we have achieved our full potential. The growth of the life coaching industry in recent years is possibly reflective of an emerging demographic struggling to make sense of their purpose. You may want to consider connecting with an accredited coach to help navigate this new life phase.

In our 20s and 30s, we are often preoccupied with achieving professional and personal goals. This life stage often entails a learning period, followed by the implementation of those new skills. As those skills are integrated, we gain mastery, and our expertise is honed. For some, mastery allows the crafting of skills which become an extension of who they are. For others, this stage will enable an exploration of other modes of expression and different ways to feel fulfilled. In this instance, work is no longer centre stage — instead, it plays a support role, allowing energies to be directed elsewhere.

It is clear from your letter that you are not short on energy. For the last few decades, external forces have influenced how you focused that energy. While you have achieved much, I sense loss within the construct of a hard-fought position and perhaps identity, along with loss of youth. It is OK to feel this struggle. But when the drive to generate rather than stagnate takes over, you get to choose the domain in which you want to proffer your contribution.

I also hear a sense of urgency, which is reasonable as your awareness of time takes on a sharper focus. Therefore, I suggest the situation you find yourself in is one of opportunity.

Your letter appears to privilege the messages of your wife and employer. These are external forces, and I wonder what you might hear if you tuned into your internal drivers, values and sense of purpose. It may transpire that your current company cannot afford you the opportunities to feel challenged, grow further, and hone your expertise. However, upon reflection, you may determine that your job can now support a new philanthropic or creative position. Take time to reflect on what you want to achieve or become without the constraints of youthful ambition or quest for perfection. Perhaps it is wise to consider the words of French Renaissance writer Michel de Montaigne: “There is nothing so remarkable in the life of Socrates than that he found the time in his old age to learn to dance and play instruments and thought it was time well spent.”

The “Great Resignation” is a term coined by organisational psychologist Dr Anthony Klotz to reflect a pattern of behaviour that emerged during the pandemic. The pandemic can be interpreted as a collective crisis. In such instances, mortality is undeniable, so it is no wonder that 40% of your same-age peers have contemplated leaving their jobs in search of something more fulfilling. The position that will fulfil your newly identified sense of purpose is possibly waiting to be filled by someone with a level of mastery and passion that only comes with experience. But, before you take that leap, perhaps learn to dance, play an instrument or stand in awe of the achievements of others in their 50s.

Take good care.

• If you have a question for Caroline, please send it to [e-mail]