Talk to me: I'm a divorced mum and want to start dating again 

Psychologist Caroline Martin answers your questions 

Picture: iStock

My husband and I divorced two years ago. It was a painful process, but we've a good working relationship about caring for our two young children. I'm lonely and would like to start dating again - I'm in my early 40s - but my confidence is at rock bottom. Every time I look in the mirror, I see a sad and unattractive woman looking back at me.

Some mirrors belong in the realm of fairy tales. Over the last few years, you have navigated tricky terrain. You’ve become intimately aware of a legal world you had no intention of being familiar with when you embarked on your journey with your now ex-husband. Your successful navigation has required not only great strength but also determination, compassion and grace. It is no small feat to declare that you have succeeded in achieving a “good working relationship” to care for your children. This working alliance will undoubtedly undergo several iterations as your children grow, so the struggle to get to this point serves as an important foundation.