Sex File: He makes no effort in bed 

Getting your partner to do more in the bedroom requires encouragement, not criticism - aggression, passive or otherwise, closes people down

Tolerating a one-sided sexual relationship will damage your self-esteem in the long term. Picture: iStock 

My husband is lazy in the bedroom and I have much more fun on my own, so I avoid sex with him and use my vibrator instead, in secret. It's not what I want for us, but I don't know how to get him to work harder so that we can have a satisfying sex life.

Your husband obviously isn't pulling his weight, but avoiding having sex with him is not my recommended course of action. It may not be cheating, but taking your orgasms elsewhere is not a great strategy for positive change.