Don't jinx things: Fear of over-planning for baby's arrival 

Online survey finds that mums worry about being too prepared for the birth of their baby 

Picture: iStock 

Co Mayo mum Sabrina Leneghan is expecting her third child any day now. She’s not sure if she’s having a boy or girl and she likes it that way.

“I like the surprise of not knowing and when the baby’s born being able to tell family and friends. It’s getting more common to find out before the birth, but I prefer to just go with the flow and not be overly structured,” says Sabrina, 34, mum to Farrah, nine, and Logan, three.

A stay-at-home mum, she believes “you jinx things when you look too much into things” and she has only ever bought the bare minimum of baby items (“nappies, babygros for 0-3 months”) ahead of her children’s births.

An online survey conducted by children’s clothing brand BabyBoo.ie of more than 1,400 mums, who’ve been pregnant or given birth during the pandemic, found just one in 10 are still too superstitious to be overly prepared, buying just the bare minimum before baby’s born.

Cathy Roche, a 28-year-old Carlow mum of two and healthcare worker, waits until the 20-week scan before buying any expensive items, e.g. the buggy or crib. “I buy babygros and little bits from 12 weeks but I wouldn’t buy before that. That’s more because of my nurse’s hat – the likelihood of miscarriage is quite high in early pregnancy.” 

While many mums aren’t superstitious around pregnancy or childbirth, Cathy says older generations can harbour certain superstitions and this has an influence. “My mother-in-law would say don’t put up the cot before the baby comes home. My father-in-law doesn’t want to find out the baby’s gender ahead. My brothers-in-law and I all have, but he leaves the room when the topic comes up.

“And my aunt wouldn’t let me take the family christening gown home before my first baby, Tom, arrived. She brought it on her first visit to me at home after I’d had him. I just laughed. I thought she was being silly. But there’s fun in it too. It’s tradition.”

Psychotherapist Joanna Fortune says superstitions are often about wanting to influence unpredictable life events so as to provide certainty. “They can give us a sense of control, a belief we can somehow influence the outcome of a life event.”

She says embracing this mindset during pregnancy makes perfect sense when we’re hoping for the best outcome and worried something could go wrong along the way. "Superstitions are a way to try to gain mastery over such tension-rousing experiences.” 

Often held inter-generationally, Fortune says we hold onto them – while knowing they’re irrational – “to err on the side of emotional caution”.

HOSPITAL BAG ESSENTIALS

Online baby retailer BabyBoo.ie has drawn up a 'pandemic maternity hospital bag and packing guide'.

BabyBoo.ie research found soft toilet paper rolls and a four-socket extension lead were popular ‘essential hospital bag items’.

Mums who’ve given birth during Covid-19 wished they’d packed more snacks (one-third), their own pillow from home (one-fifth), eye mask and earplugs (one in 10).

For their babies, one in four mums wished they’d packed zipped cotton sleep-suits; one in five wished they’d brought a pre-wrapped swaddle for their newborn.