Do you hear what I hear? It’s that familiar low-decibel groan, an audible prequel to the ‘silly season’ and its attendant social commitments. Missed it last year, didn’t you? Now that restrictions are lifting, its reverberations can be felt again. Dashing, dancing and prancing may have been sorely missed during quarantine but the prospect of reuniting with, well, everyone makes us nostalgic for a silent night in. You can either be a Grinch and cancel Christmas or surrender to the chocolate-coated calendar of yuletide cheer. And it all starts with your wardrobe. Dusting off your holiday jumper may be a start, but a successful style strategy begins with the end in sight. Behold your new festive fashion manifesto.
Last year’s hygge is this year’s hybrid. Embrace it, own it; it’s not going anywhere. I know, I know. The sofa is a place of comfort and joy, but that Netflix binge-a-thon can wait. You’ve got socially responsible pod parties to attend. Whether cycling to the office holiday lunch or drinking mulled wine al fresco in Ecoset flasks and tumblers, you may as well shelve the fuzzy slippers and house shoes until Saint Stephen’s Day. Now that waist down dressing is back on the agenda, footwear matters. Pro-user tip: Opt for a gold pair of trending track sole boots and get going. You’ll thank me later.
You are what you wear or so the saying goes. If that’s the case, you’ll need more than a Santa sweater to stave off the dreaded bah-humbugs. On the twelfth day of sleep deprivation, you’ll be bargaining with God for a miracle which is why angel wing earrings make sense. Consider these a reminder that you are a divine being. The human who made six snowflake costumes for the school play from tulle and tears; the legend who avoided a small oven fire and couples counselling by ordering party food online. So, when you’d rather participate in Squid Game than untangle the tree lights; when your partner likens your Christmas card handwriting to that of a ransom note or when you just want to bin the Elf on the Shelf (who doesn’t); just remember you are divine, my angel.
Certain things about the season of goodwill don’t make sense but are nonetheless accepted. How does Santa manage to deliver a sleigh full of presents in one night? Why can’t I get Slade out of my head? Who doesn’t love a reindeer onesie? Yes, the adult baby-grow. Cosy as it may be, wait until you’re forced to brave a cold bathroom at 2 am. Not so snug then, eh? Still, the pros outweigh the cons, which is why we’ve adopted its cousin, the jumpsuit for daywear too. Not all superheroes wear capes, but most of them wear a one-piece, and you, my lovely, have deadlines to meet, a nativity to attend, Kris Kindle to nail and joy to spread. One minute to get dressed; all day to be awesome.
If single-serve outfits are the coal to your proverbial stocking, you probably own a multi-tasking ‘co-ord’ set. Worn head-to-toe or reimagined individually, twinning textiles do the heavy lifting when mirth and merrymaking require wiggle room. The real test? Can it host a Zoom catch-up with acquaintances long forgot, then split the difference between the panto and Christmas market in less than 48 hours without anyone twigging? Ho-ho-ho, yeah! Extra points for choosing complexion-enhancing green to offset signs of holly jolly fatigue.
It’s fair to say we’re all a bit out of practice in doing life. Whether small talk with colleagues IRL, bumping into ghosts of Christmas past or volunteering to cook for an extended family gathering, the festive rule of dynamic negatives (also known as Sod’s Law) will assert itself, be assured. Words will falter, turkeys will shrivel, and delicious awkwardness will be served. In cases such as these: distract by design. A dress that shimmers in decorative tiers will give that smug tree a reason to count its pine needles and double as a clever ruse while you make a swift exit.
Iris & Ink – www.theoutnet.com
L.K.Bennett – www.lkbennett.com
Lisou – www.lisou.co.uk
Loulerie – www.loulerie.com
Toast – https://eu.toa.st
Uterqüe – www.uterque.com
Zara – www.zara.com