'It killed my mum and I was very much against it': Prince Harry opens up about royal role during Australian visit

Prince Harry and his wife, the Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle, are currently undertaking a royal trip in Australia

Prince Harry spoke at Thursday’s InterEdge Summit on “leadership, psychosocial safety and human connection in the workplace”. Picture: Jonathan Brady/PA Wire.

Prince Harry has said he has felt “lost, betrayed, or completely powerless” during his life in a keynote speech at a summit on leadership in the workplace in Melbourne.

He was speaking at Thursday’s InterEdge Summit on “leadership, psychosocial safety and human connection in the workplace”, with his wife, the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, watching on in the audience.

He told those present in the Centrepiece conference venue that there was a “lot in the world right now leaving us feeling anxious, stressed, helpless, powerless and completely overwhelmed”.

“When I was invited to speak at this summit, I wasn’t sure whether I was expected to speak as someone who, despite everything, has their shit together. Or as someone who, despite what it may look like, actually doesn’t have his shit together,” he said.

“But I was struck by something quite simple – that while my experiences may be unusual, the feelings that come with them are not. In my experience, loss is disorienting at any age.

“Grief does not disappear because we ignore it. Experiencing that as a kid while in a goldfish bowl under constant surveillance, yes, that will have its challenges. And without purpose, it can break you.” He continued: “There have been many times when I’ve felt overwhelmed. Times when I’ve felt lost, betrayed, or completely powerless. Times when the pressure – externally and internally – felt constant.

The Duke of Sussex delivers the keynote speech at the InterEdge Summit, at Centrepiece in Melbourne Park, Victoria on day three of the royal trip to Australia. Picture: Jonathan Brady/PA Wire

“And times when, despite everything going on, I still had to show up pretending everything was ok, so as not to let anyone down.

“For many years, I was numb to it, and perhaps that was easier then, but I also didn’t yet have the tools to deal with it.” 

In a discussion after his speech with Australian business leader and former politician Brendan Nelson, Harry said: “After my mum died just before my 13th birthday – I was like: ‘I don’t want this job. I don’t want this role – wherever this is headed, I don’t like it.’ 

“It killed my mum and I was very much against it, and I stuck my head in the sand for years and years.

“Eventually I realised – well, hang on, if there was somebody else in this position, how would they be making the most of this platform and this ability and the resources that come with it to make a difference in the world?

“And also, what would my mum want me to do? And that really changed my own perspective.” 

He said becoming a father changed his approach because you “start to notice the ripple effect more clearly”.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex posing for a selfie at the Scar Tree Walk in Melbourne, Victoria, on day three of the royal trip to Australia. 

“When a parent is overwhelmed, children feel it. When someone is supported, families feel it. For me, one of the biggest shifts came when I realised that asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s very much a form of strength,” he said.

Meanwhile, Markle opened up about being “bullied and attacked” online during a discussion with young people associated with Australian mental health organisation Batyr at Melbourne’s Swinburne University of Technology on Thursday.

On the third day of her Australian visit, she told the young people gathered that social media had “led to so much loneliness for so many people”, saying social media companies were “not incentivised to stop”.

“And I can speak to that really personally, which is why I like to listen, because it rings true for me in a very real way,” she said.

“For now, 10 years, every day for 10 years, I have been bullied and attacked. And I was the most trolled person in the entire world.” The duchess added: “Now, I’m still here.

Meghan Markle opened up about being “bullied and attacked” online during a discussion with young people associated with Australian mental health organisation Batyr at Melbourne’s Swinburne University of Technology on Thursday.

“And when I think of all of you and what you’re experiencing, I think so much of that is having to realise that you know that industry, that billion-dollar industry, that is completely anchored and predicated on cruelty to get clicks – that’s not going to change.

“So you have to be stronger than that.” During the group discussion, Harry said Australia’s ban on under-16s using social media was “epic” from a “responsibility and leadership standpoint”.

“Australia took the lead,” he said.

“Your government was the first country in the world to bring about a ban.

“Now we can sit here and debate the pros and cons of a ban – I’m not here to judge that.

“All I will say is from a responsibility and leadership standpoint – epic.

“Because so many countries have now followed suit, but it should have never got to a ban.” The duke and duchess have long campaigned to raise awareness about the harms of social media.

Harry said: “It should have never, ever got to a ban. And now that the ban is in place, now what follows?

“Because the companies themselves have to be accountable, and there’s no way that young people should be punished by being banned from something that should be safe to use, no matter what.” He also discussed regional differences in mental health support with the young people, telling them: “I’m not a city person, my mental health could not stand living in a city – no way.” 

• Batyr, a preventative youth mental health organisation which delivers peer-to-peer programmes in schools, universities and workplaces, is hosting a two-day workshop in Melbourne to address the challenges faced by rural and remote young people.