Ireland's Fittest Family review: Fun-filled final as Davy Fitz and the Mahoneys take the title
Davy Fitzgerald, winning coach of Ireland's Fittest Family 2021.
"I just need to match his intensity and desire." No, not Anastasia Steele in Fifty Shades of Grey, but a breathless Donncha O'Callaghan side-eyeing Davy Fitz, as he bites his pillowy bottom lip seductively, leaning against the latest torture contraption dreamed up by the evil geniuses in RTÉ. Or maybe I imagined that bit.
What a final though! And if intensity and desire is what it takes to be a winning coach, well, Davy had it in the bag all along. Although, I reckon it was more about stopping Donncha getting two wins in a row that really spurred him on.
After starting with 16 families, the final four clans took on The Mountain in the last episode of season 8 of Ireland’s Fittest Family.
It didn't disappoint. We had thrills (the Allens losing their lead right at the end), spills (mainly blood, as the camera zoomed in on the gory sight of the Mahoneys' battered milky white shins after challenges like barbed wire tunnels, pitch-black rat tunnels and three-meter wall obstacles), and most certainly chills.
Because there is nothing more chilling than an Irish mammy who feels her sons are being hard done by. Joanne Mahoney went into full Mama Bear mode, and let rip on the ref and the misfortunate Lee Chin who was filling in for Davy as coach for one of the events.
You could see hurling star Chin slowly backing away, silently cursing his agent, as Joanne made him march up to the referee to give out because he didn't stop the clock in time. Speaking of Irish mammys, poor Derval was in a right conundrum after both her families had to battle each other in the first eliminator. "I'm not going to coach because I don't have a favourite," she declared primly. Yeah, right, scoffed every parent, and sibling, in Ireland.
There's always a favourite, and if you don't think there is, it means you're the chosen one. It's usually the firstborn, just saying.
Anyway, Donncha was delighted it was Derval v Derval, and he threw her some major shade, finishing off with a bit of clawing action and a high-pitched 'Meeeow!'.
Derval didn't help herself, to be honest, as she looked on unimpressed with her mouth pursed like a cat's arse.
After coaching her four families right through to the semis and getting the Mileys and the Cullens into the final, she's not happy the odds are no longer in her favour. It's farewell to the Mileys and on Day Two, so long to the Cullens. We're left with a battle between Donncha's Allen clan, and the Mahoney family, coached by Davy.
In a final tighter than Donncha's trackie bottoms, the Mahoneys eventually emerged victorious. They howled up at that mountain, beat their chests and did Incredible Hulk (Lou Ferrigno era) impersonations at the top of the plinth.
I’m guessing the mental and physical torture was, in the end, a small price to pay, as they hobbled back to Wexford €15,000 richer. They said the experience had even brought them closer as a family. A winning team indeed.
