My friend is a qualified Dreams Analyst, she can’t meet you in person because she’s doing 18 months for fraud. I rang her there and told her your story. She said, I’ve been wondering why that ship ended up in Ballycotton? I said, I suppose it couldn’t afford Kinsale. #NextBestThing.
I had a similar problem where I was terrified to go to the toilet on a night out in case the last person on the seat was a bit Turners Cross. I told my therapist that I was forced to wear an adult nappy. She said, how does that make you feel? I said, quite warm actually by the end of the night.
A nerd who fantasies about being a rapper – what next!!? My nephew is a linguist, zero cunning. I said, what’s the key to understanding northsiders? He said, they think supermarkets are named after people. I said, how do you mean? He said, they refer to Aldi as Aldi’s, Tesco is Tesco’s. I said, Jesus you’re right!
It be very awkward bringing youngsters to Fota. I remember my daughter saying, how come the zebras aren’t embarrassed about having sex in front of loads of people, Mom? I said, because they’re from around Cobh, love.
My Posh Cousin dated a guy from Passage because he told her he was from Monkstown. She said, my solution was to bring a set of ear-plugs down with me. I said, for the Mam? She said, no, for myself, in case I picked up the accent, girrrrl.