My cousin has just started an old-skool club night for people who like shifting after a few drinks. I said, what are you calling it. She said, You’ll Do. #ImSoThere
More advice from Audrey...
Bet it’s the Queen. My neighbour is big on the charity lunch scene in Cork, she says it an amazing way to avoid poor people as long as you don’t make eye contact with the waitress. #GivingBack I said, would you be interested in Prince Andrew. She said, we’ll need a hook, tell him email me something funny about himself. I said, no sweat. She said, I heard that one already, #Hilaire.
Underwear on the line is a tricky one. I remember someone said to me once, that’s some selection you have out there Audrey, you must have a very active sex life. I said, sorry now, but I don’t see how that’s any of your business, My Conor.
My uncle is a funeral director. I said, would you get mad if a snobby cow insisted on using her own car? #NoOffence He said, not at all it’s very important that we hide our true emotions. I said, in case the family sees how happy you are that someone died? He said, precisely. #SorryForYourTroubles #Kerching
Absolutely. Barrack Street has been over-run by a plague of hipsters, including my cousin, New Beard Benny. I said, what do you like about the area? He said, everything. I said, so what’s stopping you from living there? He said, my mother’s reputation in Monkstown Golf Club.