Sex advice: Showing affection doesn’t always come naturally

Sex advice with Suzi Godson

My husband and I have been married for 15 years. Our sex life is great and far more exciting than I thought it would be at this stage. However, he gives me no affection at all when we’re not having sex. We don’t kiss, or hug, apart from in the bedroom.

Congratulations. Your husband may be a bit of a hedgehog outside the bedroom, but behind closed doors you have been getting everything you want, and then some, for 15 years. When married people complain about a lack of affection, they usually mean a complete lack of intimacy — no kissing, no hugging, no sex and, more often than not, no communication. When intimacy dies it is generally because one or both parties feel angry, hurt or resentful and this becomes a physical barrier between the couple.