Ask Audrey: 'I once went out with a hippy from Killarney, he smelled like the toilets after Curry Night in the Danny Mann'

Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages...

Hi, we’ve put our father in the best old-people’s home in the city, measured by the number of people in the visitor’s carpark wearing €500 sunglasses. Anyway, my sister rang from there last night, in flood of tears, Dad was after taking a turn and proposing to a widow from the Pouladuff Road. (Don’t ask me how she even got in the door.) I rushed down and told the woman that I’m one of the leading solicitors in the city, but didn’t she just sit there in her Dunnes Stores cardigan and say, “We do be at it like Kinsale people, boy.” She’s clearly after him for the money. How can I persuade Dad to think again?