Lindsay Woods: ‘I still flinch at the thought of eight pairs of eyes turned towards me, like a perspiring ensemble cast from ‘Children of the Corn’’

When you have children, you are concerned with a myriad of things, writes Lindsay Woods.

Are they warm enough? Are they too warm? Are they hungry? Did I feed them too much? Is it just gas or are they in pain? What if they really are in pain? Do I ring my mother or go straight to A&E? No, wait… it’s just gas.