Ask Audrey: I’m pretending to be a poet to impress a stunning pseudo-intellectual from Clonakilty

Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for ages like ...

Hello old stock. I’m pretending to be a poet to impress a stunning pseudo-intellectual from Clonakilty, so this week’s issue is in the form of a limerick. “I once knew a bird from Ardmore, We got up to all sorts down by the shore, She phoned me last night, and gave me a fright, I’ve a son and he’s aged 24.” She wants me to meet the lad this Saturday which is a nightmare because I’ve Hoggy pencilled in for a jacuzzi with two very open-minded travel agents from Kenmare. Do you think she’s looking for money?