Term time: 10 ways to get your work-life balance right

With the children back to school, it might be time to reassess your working situation and to ask your boss for greater flexibility, writes Andrea Mara.

With the kids back in school, for many of us, September is the real new year — a time for re-established routines and renewed resolutions to get work-life balance just right. But how do you put it in place? Follow our ten tips to negotiate a win-win at home and at work:

1. Look at what works for you

When it comes to balancing work hours and children, there’s no universal optimal solution. “Sit down and think about what would work for you, and what you can afford to do,” says HR consultant Tracy Gunn (beingatyourbest.com).

“There isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to flexibility. It can mean reducing your hours, condensing to fewer days, staggered start or finish times, or working from home.”

2. Ask for flexibility — but be smart

Telling your employer why you want flexibility isn’t enough — you need to show how it benefits everyone. “Speak in language that is going to get the attention of your boss,” advises Gunn.

“They may not care about your long commute or the fact that you miss bedtime. However, they will be interested to hear that by leaving early you’ll be able to log on and do an extra hour later so you can talk to your colleagues in the USA.”

3. Work from home

The best change I ever made in my working life was requesting to work from home once a week. I gained two hours (usually lost to commuting) and was more focused than ever, because I wanted to prove it was working. If asking to work from home, present a good business case. For example, you can spend your commuting time working, and it frees up desks in the office. It’s also a good idea to suggest a trial run.

“Some employers are reluctant to commit to something permanent,” says Gunn. “Suggesting a short trial for, say, six weeks makes it feel like a safer option and gives you both the chance to review.”

4. Set boundaries

When you’re trying to balance career and family, boundaries (or lack thereof) can make things extremely challenging. “The lines between work and home are increasingly blurred with many of us operating in a state of constant ‘on’,” says Gunn.

Whether you’ve reduced your hours or simply want to be more present at home, setting clear boundaries is essential

Decide which parts of the day are for “home” and stick to it.

5. Communicate

Once you’ve established how and when you’ll be working, communicate this to your colleagues and stakeholders.

“Put your out-of-office on, block your calendar for when you’re not in the office,” says Gunn. “Think about what you will and won’t do; for example, ‘I won’t check emails on my day of parental leave’. The key is to set and then manage your boundaries — because if you don’t, then no one else will do it for you.”

6. Set priorities

It sounds like a no-brainer, yet when we’re overwhelmed, it can be difficult to take time to set priorities. Gunn has an interesting take on it: “Psychologists suggest that when it comes to managing our time, we fall into one of two categories: Time hawks, who constantly feel like they have too much to do in the time they have, and as a result they are always battling against the clock, feeling frustrated; and time doves, who accept that there will never be enough time to do everything.

Instead, Doves make smart choices about how they’re spending their time.

Whilst it can be challenging to cultivate a ‘Dove mindset’, identifying each day what your top priorities are can help you feel like you’ve achieved something worthwhile

7. Write a to-do list

Make tomorrow’s to-do list before you leave work, you’ll thank yourself the following morning. Then stick to it! Don’t get distracted by new requests (unless urgent) or irrelevant phone notifications.

8. Be present with your children

After a long day at work, it can be challenging for parents to find the energy for their children, but it’s critical, says parent coach Trevor Higgins (cloudsaway.ie). “No matter how difficult it may be, I believe it’s important for parents to try to be present for their children every day in order to create and foster a strong, consistent bond.”

It can be easier said than done, though, and Higgins suggests a strategy. “The first thing is to make the decision to be present, then look at how to be present: give attention by providing eye contact, listening to their news, asking questions. Such attention can be provided in conjunction with a quiet activity and can then continue into the bedtime routine.”

9. Be flexible

There are of course times when it’s impossible to avoid a work call. “If a parent needs to make a work call, try to spend time with the child before or after the necessary work,” says Higgins, “And making arrangements for the work to be done while the child is occupied and safe will increase the likelihood of the parent successfully completing that piece of work, without disturbance.”

10. Downtime

When you don’t have enough hours for work or family, finding space for a “me time” sounds counterintuitive. But doing something that’s just for you is good for work-life balance and wellbeing, according to University of Birkbeck research. You don’t have to run marathons — a short run in the park works just as well, or a blog, art class, or a once-a-week solo coffee with a book.