Sex advice with Suzi Godson: My girlfriend is too sexually adventurous for my liking

My new girlfriend is sexually adventurous. She always wants to try new things in bed and has even suggested going to a sex club together. I’d rather have a good intimate sex life without feeling as if I need to spice it up all the time, but I do really like her. Do I have to change to keep her?”

I’m not sure changing yourself to be what you think someone else wants, or needs, ever really works, particularly in the context of a romantic relationship. Authenticity is fundamentally important to intimacy, and pretending that you are up for adventurous sex when what you really want is a cuddle on the sofa and a nice cup of tea will only make you unhappy in the long term.