Five Leaving Cert memories you'll never shake

You couldn't pay us to go through it all again.

Wed, 04 Jun, 2014 - 11:08

Ciara Flaherty

The Leaving Cert starts today with English Paper 1 aka the exam "you can't really study for".

And no matter what you're doing today - no matter how stressed out you are - we bet you wouldn't swap it for doing your Leaving again.

Because you remember exactly what it was like and you would never want to go through it again.

Here are five memories of the Leaving Cert that will haunt you for the rest of your days.

1. "What the hell is an invigilator?"

The first and possibly last time you heard the word - did they invent it specifically for the Leaving Cert? Who are they? Where do they go when the exams are over?

And why do they have to go to the toilet with me?

2. Teeny tiny tables

The tiniest tables known to mankind.

Seriously, how are you supposed to fit your exam paper, answer booklet, water bottle, sweets, pencils, pens, colouring pencils, ruler, rubber, topper, watch, scientific calculator, compass, protractor, log table and your bottle of scotch all on a table that’s basically the size of a postage stamp AND have room to do all that frantic scribbling?

3. Extreme Paranoia

Before:"Have I studied to much? Did I study too much? I'm worried because I'm not worried."

During: "How is everyone writing so fast?! She’s gone and asked for more paper. I’ve only used 3 pages."

"How is she finished already?! Should I be done by now? Ah, only 20 minutes left!"

After: "Did I write enough? Did I write too much? Did I answer all the questions? Did I put down the right exam number?"

WARNING: Never go over the paper after you’ve left the exam. That way lies only madness.

4. Gambling on Poets

Ah the fun of betting your entire English Paper Two on two poets.

Plath or Kavanagh. Plath or Kavanagh.

“They have to come up! There's always an Irish poet and a female poet!” Unless this year they decide to completely mess with us and ruin my life!" (see above: paranoia)

We’ve never felt a rush like turning that paper over to discover your fate. And the tangible ripple of joy through the room as everyone sighs with relief. Plath! Yeeesssssss!

5. That deep-seated pain in your hand from writing reams of nonsense for HOURS

Especially after the really long ones like English Paper Two and History. Our poor hands were never the same.

But remember everyone, it will all be grand- the whole country is out lighting candles for you. Now get off the internet and go study!

Good luck to my eldest daughter as she starts junior cert. But she won't be reading this, will she?
— Matt Cooper (@cooper_m) June 4, 2014

Best of luck to all starting their Leaving Cert & Junior Cert exams today...just write everything you've ever learned on the page! #BeGrand
— Fiona Donnellan (@fionadonnellan) June 4, 2014