Rylan Clark wanted to kill himself when he was 'The X Factor'.
The 'Celebrity Big Brother' winner - who shot to fame on the ITV singing show last year - claims he was in a dark place when he first started performing on the live shows and even considered ending his own life because he couldn't handle the gruelling abuse that was being fired at him.
He said: "I wanted to f**king kill myself. I was like, 'This isn't worth it'. I tried to leave the show and at one point I did walk. Then I thought, 'I've worked so hard for this. I've got to prove why I should be here.'
"There are still people out there who are going to hate me - it's easier to hate someone than love someone."
Rylan - who co-hosts 'Big Brother's Bit on the Side' alongside Emma Willis and AJ Odudu - insists he'll continue to pursue his singing career because that's where his real passion lies but admits being on television has made him even more self-conscious of his image.
Speaking to star magazine, he explained: "I went on 'The X Factor' to do music and I never give up on something I want to do."
He added: "I've always had issues with how I look and I'm never happy, so time for a change! I want to become a lot more fit and healthy. I want to look like someone I would go for! I look at myself and don't think I'm sexy or attractive."