Half Past Dead proves Seagal is well past his best

Half Past Dead stars Steven Seagal as Sascha, an undercover FBI agent working with a gang of car thieves.

Sascha is using his unwitting partner in crime, Nick (Ja Rule), to get closer to the gang that killed his wife.

Things go wrong when the pair are busted in a raid and Nick is sent to Alcatraz prison.

To maintain his cover Sascha has to join his partner in the newly reopened prison and that’s when the fun starts.

Alcatraz is about to execute its first prisoner since reopening, Lester (Bruce Weitz), who was jailed for killing some FBI agents and for his part in a $200 million gold heist.

Before being jailed Sonny hid the gold and some heavy-hitters are determined to find out where it is before he takes his secret to the grave.

Led by prison insider Donny (Morris Chestnutt) a gang of terrorists attack the prison determined to uncover Sonny’s secret.

Unfortunately for them Sascha is on the loose, not an easy thing to do in a prison, and he starts to pick them off one by one in usual Seagal style.

Half Past Dead is proof, if proof were needed, that Seagal is washed up as an actor.

He seems to be getting fatter and slower by the movie and doesn’t look capable of fighting his way out of a paper bag not to mind taking on a group of well-trained terrorists.

It really is time for him to hang up his zimmer frame.

Come to think of it, Half Past Dead is a pretty good title for this one after all.

Action. 18. *