Ozzy agrees to take DNA test

Ozzy Osbourne has agreed to take a DNA test to see if he is the father of a groupie's son.

Goth Sheron Lutz claims she and Ozzy canoodled after a party in 1996 - something which Ozzy, unsurprisingly, cannot remember.

"The most precious thing I have in my life is my marriage and my children and now someone's trying to destroy the harmony in my family," mumbled the affable patriarch of the most dysfunctional family on the planet.

"This is not going to happen."

Something else that's not going to happen, according to Ozzy, is a declaration that he is the father of six-year-old Junior, having taken the wise precaution of having a vasectomy in 1985 following the birth of son Jack.