The 12 contestants in the fourth series of Big Brother come from wild and wonderful backgrounds.
Cameron, 32, from the Orkney Islands, said he was desperate to go on Big Brother, even though his friends had tried to dissuade him.
“I think I would do it even if it wasn’t on TV or had prize money,” he claimed.
The fish trader, who once taught people how to build rockets, wishes he was James Bond and sometimes sings in his sleep.
Listing the things he would miss most while in the house, Cameron included his dog, the sea, being able to drive and his own choice of music.
Federico, 23, from Glasgow, said he had become an addict of Big Brother despite trying to keep away from “such mainstream populist paraphernalia”.
“I too, have contracted this debilitating, possessive disease which renders its victims defenceless to the fascinating banality of normality,” he rambled.
As a waiter, he used to serve cocktails in New York, and if he was reincarnated he would like to come back as a donkey.
Listing the things he would miss most while in the house, Federico mentioned sex, music and movies.
Gos, 31, from Southall in London, said he wanted to go in the Big Brother house because he’s a funny, easy-going kind of a guy.
“I love spending time with people and I listen to them before giving my view,” he simpered.
The head chef harbours dreams of being able to fly and once helped deliver his cousin’s baby.
Listing the things he would miss most while in the house, Gos said chef knives, his bed, his car and football.
Jon, 29, from Staines in Middlesex, was told he probably couldn’t handle the Big Brother experience.
“Someone I know told me that I wouldn’t be able to do it – and I never pass up a challenged,” he said.
The data strategy manager helped slaughter his friend’s pig and said he would like to come back in the next life as a cat.
Listing the things he would miss most while in the house, Jon included the horizon, the Internet and reading.
Ray, 25, from Galway in the Republic of Ireland, boasted he could win Big Brother simply by being himself.
“I can go to bed at the crack of dawn, be myself, relax, have a good time, meet some interesting people and be in with a chance to win a lot of money for being me,” he claimed.
The IT systems administrator is a fitness fanatic – going to the gym five times a week and once dressed up as a teapot.
Listing the things he would miss most while in the house, Ray mentioned the gym, TV, music and going clubbing.
Scott, 27, from Liverpool, said he wanted to have a “life-changing” experience in the Big Brother house.
“I would love the opportunity to be able to live in a more pure sense,” he is quoted as saying.
The marketing co-ordinator would like to be reincarnated as Kylie Minogue’s dog and dreams of playing football for Liverpool FC.
Listing the things he would miss most while in the house, Scott said “not knowing what’s happening in the world”.
Anouska, 20, from Manchester, said she was searching for that unique experience in the reality show house.
“Big Brother is a must-do opportunity that very few will be part of but one which I will thrive on,” she insisted.
The day nursery assistant admits she is very nosey and sporting a butterfly tattoo, she would like to come back in the next life as one of the fluttering creatures.
Listing the things she would miss most while in the house, Anouska included sex, peanut butter, books and music.
Justine, 27, from Leeds, claims she will be the party girl of the Big Brother house.
“I’m at this stage in my life, being young, single and fancy free and I want to have as much fun as possible,” she said.
The sales manager once turned her professional expertise to selling chain-mail clothing to the fetish industry.
Listing the things she would miss most while in the house, Justine simply identified her two mobile phones.
Nush, 23, from Malvern in the Midlands, said she would make her mark in the house by circus-training the Big Brother chickens.
“I love trying new and crazy things and it looks like lots of fun,” she chirped.
The yoga-loving student has her own soul surgeon in order to maintain her spiritual health.
Listing the things she would miss most while in the house, Nush included going to the toilet in private, music, movies and sex.
Sissy, 26, from Liverpool, will keep the Big Brother house in line as a home lover who hates mess.
“It’s a lifetime experience that looks loads of fun, and an opportunity to cohabit with people who you wouldn’t normally live with,” she philosophised.
The fashion designer would like to be reincarnated as a solid oak kitchen table and dreams of being a mum.
Listing the things she would miss most while in the house, Sissy said shopping, music and clubbing.
Steph, 27, from Birmingham, said the Big Brother house would never be peaceful as she can talk for England.
“BB seems to be a new, exciting experience for me where I have the opportunity to be myself,” she enthused.
The visual merchandiser for a retail chain has recently separated from her footballing husband and loves Carry On films.
Listing the things she would miss most while in the house, Steph simply said the fire.
Tania, 22, from north west London, may find herself in trouble in the house as she hates false people.
When asked why Big Brother she said: “To live with strangers and be watched 24/7 and to see how I would cope without TV.”
As an employee in a designer clothes shop, she loves clothes but at home she keeps pet koi carp.
Listing the things she would miss most while in the house, Tania confessed it would be her mobile phone and her car.