Stranded on Alcatraz with Seagal
Half Past Dead
Don Michael Paul
Steven Seagal, Morris Chestnut, Ja Rule
15.
Seagal remains one of filmdom's great mysteries; a wooden, mirthless hunk who looks like he's just strayed from the X-Men lot.
So, they re-open Alcatraz and a bunch of bad guys are holding a judge hostage. Special agent Seagal goes undercover to sort it all out.
Next, please!
The guy has been in so many stinkers in his surprisingly long-lived career that you'd think somebody behind a desk would jolt into life and realise that the guy has been in so many stinkers; enough, already!
Seagal has his fans, of course, but I suspect they're an odd-ball collection of mutants!
1/5
