Sure it’s only a short walk into Penneys. And with the dump out of action, you can actually breathe through your nose. (As long as the wind isn’t blowing from Ballyphehane). Anyway, my Conor is a tech nerd, so I asked him about camera apps getting the address wrong. He said it’s very common. I said, just like Turners Cross. He said surely someone who bought a mansion on the Douglas Road doesn’t have to worry about impressing her family. I said, you’re right, she probably wanted it for the unrivalled views of Motocross at Vernon Mount.
Avoiding Kinsale. There’s nothing worse than sharing a house with a teenage god-botherer. My 19-year-old niece from Limerick was staying with us for the summer, because she wanted to improve her English. She spent her time listening to Christian rock stations, playing songs like ‘No Tongues Lads, I’m Religious’. I said you should get out and enjoy yourself. She said there’s nothing enjoyable about wearing a revealing cat suit and dancing all sexy on a table next to a stag party from Bologna. I said is there any chance you could stop following me around.
I’ll keep this short, because there’s no guarantee you’ll still be around at the end of the sentence. Go for it. The only thing you have to lose is a set of dentures behind her couch if things turn a bit frisky during Nationwide. (Bit of vom in the mouth just thinking about it.) I’m five years older than my Conor, for what it’s worth. (About 500 grand, if his mother would just hurry up and croak, so we can sell her house in Sunday’s Well. Only messing, Mildred! Stay strong!)
Good idea, serving Nori in there would be a form of cannibalism. Nori is actually an edible seaweed. I asked my Posh Cousin about it. She said it’s great for vitamin B and humiliating people who don’t know what it is (no offence.) I said is there any kind of Nori that’s particularly popular in Asia. She said Roy Keane. I nearly spat a mouthful of Pinot Grigio at her with all the laughing.
That wouldn’t be hard. I wouldn’t worry about appearing crazy. You’re a Blackrock Road woman who goes into Aldi without wearing a disguise. It’s fair to say that you left Crazy Town behind a long time ago. I’d give you a nine on the crazy scale, where one is sane, and 10 is booking a flight on Ryanair.