Back on the dating scene after long-term relationship

I am 31 and I have been in a long-term relationship since I was 15. We recently broke up and now I am out dating again, but I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I don’t really know anything about sex apart from my one boyfriend. I don’t even know how many dates you should go on before you have sex.

My heart goes out to you. No matter how mutual the decision was, coming out of a 16-year relationship is extremely difficult and since you were only 15 when it started, your entire adult identity has been formed within the confines of that relationship.Relationship dissolution is always stressful, but finding yourself alone at 31 is particularly so. A break-up can affect almost every aspect of your daily life, from where you live, to what you do in your free time, to the even bigger questions. You may want to have children and may be worrying about when that will now happen. On the upside, this is also an exciting time for you — a fresh start and a new journey.

While your desire to move on is understandable — you have, after all, grown up as one half of a whole — I would urge you to pause, and take a breath before you start dating again. This break-up provides you with an opportunity to focus on yourself and if you meet someone new immediately, that opportunity will be lost. Try to enjoy this period of reassessing your life, both romantic and otherwise, and enjoy the freedom to make decisions that are yours and yours alone.