I know your pain. My Conor took up cycling last year and ended up thinner than a supermodel. His new look gave me a strong urge. Which was to cook him a giant plate of bacon and cabbage. (As if I’d be seen dead in my own kitchen.) The worst thing about the cycling is he’s gone for most of the weekend.
Why can’t be take up a hobby where he’s gone for all of the weekend? It’s virtually impossible to have a decent affair.
I prefer sex with humans, but each to his own. The guests on this boat will force us to contemplate a question that goes to the heart of life here in Cork. Are they, in fact, Norries?
The people on board won’t get a moments peace. You’ll have people on the north quays shouting: “Ye’re not really wan of our own.” From the other side of the river, they’ll have to listen to “I have three of my fellas in Pres”. Still, it’s good to see the boat coming to Cork. The last time I saw a bit of action on the quays was with a Russian sailor who’d remind you of Liam Neeson after a bottle of vodka. (As long as you’re the one doing the drinking.)
Yuck. Cork is impressive these days. (It looks even better after you’ve spent time in Tralee.) We like to say we’re the gourmet capital of Ireland, which is unusual because Cork people are usually so modest. You’ll be spoiled for choice if you go out for a meal here. Take your pick from any one of 37 restaurants serving burgers and chips at 15 quid a head. We call that choice.
I’m delighted you are there too. Stay as long as you like.As for Minister Coveney, I’m afraid there is a barring order against me ringing members of the Dáil.
I’m not really allowed to say why, but my advice is never ring Danny Healy-Rae and pretend you’re the son of God (He got an awful fright.)
Sorry, can’t make it. I’m in a mojito mojito mojito circle with some of the girls at work every Thursday. You should see the hot French guys making a run for it when we hit Crane Lane around midnight. They never escape, though. In terms of being nicer to people, I was reading back there over some of the things I said about people last year. It’s clear to me now that I’ve been overly harsh on people from Dungarvan. Also, my mother said you should never mock the afflicted, so I might take it easy on the inhabitants of Youghal, as well.