Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for years

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How’re oo goin’ on? The wife left me six months ago for a Dutch artist living inside in Bantry. He’s a very good looking man in fairness to him. Anyway, I’ve decided to get myself a new chicky babe for the new year. Do you have any advice? – Dick Dan Donal, I enclose a picture of me in a pair of Speedos taken in Inchydoney last year.

Thanks for the warning. You might want to update your terminology. I haven’t heard the term chicky babe since a Cork Con disco in 1989, when I let a plug ugly rugby player feel me up because he went to Christians. I originally thought it might be a good idea for you to post your profile on Tinder.