Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for years

Got an issue? Ask Audrey...

I asked my cleaning lady if she’d waitress for my Christmas drinks thingy next week. There was a slight misunderstanding, and now she thinks I’ve invited her as a guest. Do you think she’d notice if I asked her to put on a maid’s outfit and walk around with a tray of finger food? – Claire, Douglas Road, she’ll be serving the cream of Cork.

Isn’t that a cheap sherry? My posh cousin had a similar problem. She texted her maid, asking if she would be available for her daughter’s christening. The cleaner turned up with her family and a present for the baby. My posh cousin said she could stay as long as she pretended to be the Duchess of Warsaw. The cleaner said she’s from Slovakia, not Poland. My posh cousin said she finds it hard to differentiate between anyone from east of Youghal. The cleaner said that’s a huge insult. I suppose nobody wants to be mistaken for someone from Waterford.