Sex advice with Suzi Godson: Struggling to enjoy sex after wife’s affair

Since my wife had an affair, I have been struggling sexually.

Everything else is fine; I completely trust her and we have sorted out our communication issues. However, as soon as we start having sex I can’t stop picturing her with him. I can’t tell her because she’s ‘done her time’, as it were, but I find it very distressing. How can I fix this?

Everything is fine. You completely trust her. And you have sorted out your communication issues. Yet every time you have sex you are haunted by the image of your wife with another man. Everything isn’t really fine, is it? And since you don’t feel that you can talk to your wife, I would argue that the communication isn’t going too well either.