How to keep all your guests happy this Christmas

We all wish we had a perfect family — with no ‘issues’ or personality traits that drive us bonkers. But we all do, says Suzanne Harrington, who has compiled a guide on how to stop them ruining Christmas

As if it’s not bad enough having to spend all that time and effort acquiring ridiculous stuff like a tree and a turkey — neither of which, presumably, have ever expressed any desire to be chopped down or chopped up — you then have to pimp your house like Santa’s grotto, and bankrupt yourself on tinsel and fairylights and Quality Street. But the worst is yet to come. Yes, them. The guests.

Having your house full of people you manage to successfully avoid during the rest of the year can be a bewildering experience, provoking the kind of existential crisis no amount of sherry will blank out. It is imperative, therefore, to be prepared. For the worst.