Documentary footage finally reveals what your upstairs neighbours do

Ah, the upstairs neighbours. Those mysterious entities that exist only to make bizarre, constant noise that just isn’t possible for a human to make.

Now, for the first time, production studio Above Average can reveal the lives of the secretive susum proximus.

"We make sound," David tells us. "We think of it as an artform," his companion, Julia, adds. "Their ceiling ... is our stage. And we're dancing across it."