Mark Hayes: Feeling the pressure to get a beach-ready body

Mark Hayes is hot and bothered in LA as the pressure mounts to get his body perfect for the beach.

SO I’m at a hotel pool party in West Hollywood. To my right: Hollywood hills. To my left: Downtown LA. All around me: models. beauties. brutes. Half naked bodies, half drunk girls, fully flexing guys. All perfectly sculpted. Breasts, pecs and high heels. Wonderful.

And then there’s me — a pasty white, almost burnt, Irish guy with a big, pink, head reminiscent of Steve Staunton in World Cup ’94, just standing waist high in the swimming pool trying to cool down, wondering why I’m cursed with such narrow, womanly shoulders, a skinny neck and a head shaped like a toaster. This place does wonders for your confidence.