Affair with married woman is best sex ever

I’m a 30-year-old single male and I have been having an affair with a married woman, aged 32.

She said the life went out of her marriage a long time ago but she hasn’t left her husband. I don’t love her but it’s the best sex I’ve ever had. Is it her, or the illicitness of the situation? I think I’m addicted to it. My friends are settling down but I’m happy with this — is there something wrong with my attitude to love and sex?

At first glance this might not seem like an ideal situation, but if you enjoy the adrenaline rush of illicit sex and you don’t want the responsibility of a full-on relationship, it’s probably about as good as it gets. You have no financial obligations to this woman and there is no emotional connection, so you are not even going to get hurt if (actually, make that when) the relationship ends. Even the fact that she has been stringing you along for a year is a sexual plus. Studies have shown that dopamine, the neurotransmitter that motivates us to “want” sex, is stimulated by unpredictability, and because the neurological “wanting” system (dopamine) is so much more powerful than the “satiety” system (opioids), not knowing what will happen next only increases your anticipation and arousal.