Why is my girlfriend insecure about her big breasts?

¦ My girlfriend has the most amazing breasts (which are size GG). However, she is insecure about them because they are so big, and won’t take her bra off during sex.

How can I make her understand that she doesn’t need to be insecure?

>> Your girlfriend’s insecurity is likely to be deeply ingrained. It probably dates back to primary school when all her friends were still flat as pancakes, but she had already been hauled off to a department store where a matronly shop assistant had pulled a tape measure around her naked chest while muttering about the importance of the “right kind of support”.

Of course, lots of women would — and do — pay good money to be as well-endowed as your girlfriend. Although big breasts are perceived as sexy and attract a lot of attention from men, much of it is unwanted, and for young girls in particular, big breasts can be a very mixed blessing.

Besides making them a target for sexual innuendo, on a purely practical level, a set of double Gs weighs in at about five pounds and that can put a huge strain on a woman’s back and neck. Exercise can be very problematic. Finding clothes that fit, even more so.

Collectively, these negatives create a kind of compound self-doubt and it is difficult for one man’s love and appreciation to undo a lifetime of insecurity. Difficult... but not impossible.

Awkward experiences with previous boyfriends may have led her to the conclusion that her breasts look better when they are gathered into a tight cleavage, but as trust grows between you, she may allow you to see them in their natural glory, particularly if you keep reiterating how beautiful you think they are.

Persuading her to take her bra off in front of you is the biggest hurdle so, initially, it is probably a good idea to offer to look, but not touch. Don’t ask her to reveal all when she is lying down either, as breasts generally look their best in a standing position. Similarly, water tends to support breast tissue so taking a bath together would be a good starting point.

Once she is comfortable with you looking at her breasts, suggest you massage them with oil or moisturiser. The breasts are hugely erogenous, but when they are stimulated during sex it is hard to separate that sensation from overall feelings of arousal. In contrast, when the breasts are worshipped independently, it is easier for a woman to tune in to their sexual potential.

If you always show appreciation when she yields to you, eventually she will be willing to remove her armour too. She’s probably going to feel more comfortable in positions which minimise the size of her breasts or make them look their best. Missionary, for example, will flatten them out as they fall to the side, so she might not appreciate the look of her breasts in that position. Standing positions are good. So are positions where she is sitting, as her breasts will remain stable.

It might take a while for her to get to the point where she feels relaxed enough to not worry about how her breasts look, but when she does, she will enjoy sex even more as she will be able to focus on pleasure rather than her insecurities. Your job is to make sure she feels comfortable enough that this can happen.

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