The Celtic Tiger couples that just couldn't take the heat
While viewers may envy her privileged existence, few would want the MCD boss’s complicated love/work life. Caroline revealed last month that she is running the concert promotion company with her now-estranged husband, Denis Desmond.
“Denis had an affair,” she said. The news came as a shock to those who saw the Desmond’s 32-year marriage as one of the most enduring on pre- and post-Tiger Ireland’s ‘celebrity’ circuit.
Fame and wealth come with a high price tag. There are ‘temptations’. Lawyer, Gerald Kean complained of being targeted by ‘gold-diggers’ after he and wife, Clodagh, split in 2004.
“These were models and well-known personalities. It was the lifestyle they were interested in.”
Here, in commiseration with Caroline Downey, are our Top Tiger Break-ups.
Let’s get this pair out of the way as quickly as possible. The architect of the bubble and Celia Larkin were the First Couple of the Tiger Years. They never married but, as Taoiseach’s girlfriend, Celia co-hosted diplomatic events and accompanied him on state visits to China and Mexico.
They split in 2003. Clearly, he was tired of ‘Larkin about’. Sorry.
One, famous for bouffant hair, revealing outfits and glowing tan… the other, a model from Ballinteer, Co Dublin. Michael and Lisa (right) were the first Tiger Super-Celeb Couple. Their six-year engagement/romance was a blur of glam sunbathing, yachts, necking champagne in Lillies …
We imagined what their children would look like (would they be orange-hued and mulleted?). We would never know.
The dancer broke it off in 2006 and wrote in his biography that he “loved Lisa, but I was never in love with her”. He went on to marry Niamh O’Brien and Lisa is now with Gerald Kean.
The Keans were the archetypal Bling-Bling Tiger Power Couple. The lawyers married in 1986 and became the King and Queen of Irish society, renowned for their lavish lifestyle. Kean was once reported to have bought Clodagh a jet and flown 150 guests to Salzburg for a ball in her honour. In September 2004, he blasted rumours that the couple had split up. “We have not separated. This is just garbage upon more garbage.”
Not long afterwards, they announced their separation.
“I consider Charlize my wife and she considers me her husband,” said the unmarried Howth man in 2007, showing the press his commitment ring. The duo separated three years later.
Poor Stuart has been unlucky with other finger jewellery too. He was fired from The Lord of the Rings the day before principal photography began. Steer clear of rings, Stuart.
The Celtic Tiger spewed out boy/girl bands faster than a game of pass-the-brown-envelope at a developer’s dinner party. Brian and Kerry were the poster couple for a generation of fabricated pop stars when they wed in 2002.
Two years on, Brian announced he was leaving Westlife to spend more time with his family. Months later, his marriage was over. He had had too much ‘quality time’ with a woman he later called a ‘pig face mole’ on Twitter.
Entertainer and toilet roll saleswoman, Twink, split with oboist David Agnew in 2004 after two decades of marriage. In 2006, Agnew had a child with new love, Ruth Hickey, prompting the most infamous phone recording since Watergate. “Zip up your mickey,” she said. It will probably be her epitaph. Not that it’s the first time Twink’s name has appeared alongside slang for men’s bits. Anyone remember Maxi, Dick and Twink?
The Tiger bon viveur and Morah seemed inseparable. She once phoned his 2FM show under the name Norah and told listeners intimate details about his personal habits. He also treated the nation to descriptions of her underwear. In 2008, his army of fans was shocked to hear that the couple were splitting up. Two years later, Gerry was found dead after taking cocaine and alcohol.
DJ and Sarah’s relationship was the perfect combination of traditional-meets-Tiger-era. He is one of the country’s greatest-ever hurlers and she was a canny businesswoman who made almost €50m from the sale of Needahotel.com in 2006.
They had an eye-watering property portfolio which included Chalet Grace in Switzerland. It was a true Tiger pad, with five double bedrooms, a dining room seating 14, cinema, games room, and a ‘wellness’ centre. As their business empire crumbled amid debts and judgments, so too did their seven-year relationship. They split in 2012, just months before their planned summer wedding.
Once upon a time, models were just pretty clothes horses. During the boom (in the absence of real stars to interview) Dublin’s social columnists raised them to celeb status. Now, not a day passes without some model’s utterances being reported in some paper. Andrea Roche’s 2006 marriage to the son of developer, Jim Mansfield, was the diary event of the year. The couple were hitched in Saggart, with every last detail reported in VIP magazine. Sadly, four years later, PJ and Andrea separated, saying they had grown apart. Much like Ireland and its new-found wealth, really.
Ro was the face of fluffy-pop Tiger Erin, who once sang ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’. Yvonne got going after she learned he had an affair with Francine Cornell. Observers were shocked. The Keatings’ 14-year marriage was considered the template for a successful partnership. Ronan later described the excitement of being surrounded by female admirers while with Boyzone. “We were on tour, and when you’re in that circle it’s a bubble. It’s not real.”
A bubble? Just like the Celtic Tiger? There’s a lesson in there somewhere.
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