The beauties and the beastly boys who cheat

At a glance they seem to have it all: fame, fortune and the sort of beauty most women could only dream of.

Some have more than others — a slew of competitors determined to take their place in bed and a partner who’s secretly interviewing for the job.

Yet while they’re worshipped by men across the globe and admired by women everywhere, the beautiful are as damned as anyone else in matters of the heart. They dangle like pretty ornaments on the arms of shallow men for whom their allure is as vacuous as a scrap of shiny paper to a circling magpie.

Recent revelations that boredom drove rugby player Danny Cipriani to cheat on model girlfriend Kelly Brook, have linked her with a long list of celebrities who attracted cheating mates.

For Halle Berry, periods of fidelity were short-lived in her marriage to Eric Benet. He had a string of affairs while wedded to her. Liberty Ross’s husband slipped only once. But when his affection for actress Kristen Stewart was captured on film by prowling paparazzi, the revelation cost him his marriage.

While many of the encounters were nothing more than meaningless dalliances, some were indicative of a deep connection. Sandra Bullock’s man married the tattoo model with whom he cheated while wedded to her, and reality-star Brandi Glanville’s husband married singer LeAnn Rimes after news of their affair broke.

Ethan Hawke is now married to the woman who was once nanny to his kids, although he denied allegations that their relationship began while he was married to Uma Thurman.

As to why men play away when they have glamorous, goddess-type women at home, psychologist Allison Keating, says: “Some men pursue gorgeous women for the challenge of landing a highly-coveted beauty. Once they have what they want, they miss the chase and go searching for another conquest.

“Sometimes the Madonna-Hoare complex comes into play for men raised by cold mothers. They can’t see wife and lover in one woman.

“Tiger Woods had a strict, controlled upbringing. He also had the perfect looking wife in Elin Nordgren, yet he went with women who were call-girls.”

Some men chase women in a search for excitement. “Because of their high-profile lifestyles, men who cheat on Hollywood stars have a good chance of being caught,” says Keating. “That risk excites them.”

As to whether ‘beautiful’ women are more likely to be cheated on than ‘plain’ women, sexual addiction and infidelity expert, Robert Weiss, explains that a man who is married to a beautiful woman may feel ‘less than’ in comparison.

“He may feel insecure about his age, looks, income or whatever, and he may cheat in an attempt to prove his value and to reassure himself that he is desirable and worthwhile.”

“Insecure men who feel unworthy to have a celebrity partner may cheat to sabotage the relationship,” agrees Keating.

Some men never intended to be monogamous, according to Weiss, who is SVP of clinical development for Elements Behavioral Health (www.promises.com) and a seasoned Oprah, CNN and NBC commentator on the subject.

“Some cheat in an effort to re-create the early relationship intensity they crave, or because they expect their significant other to fulfil their every desire, and when that person inevitably fails, they feel justified in going elsewhere for what they need.”

Others have a sexual addiction issue that keeps them distant and emotionally unavailable. “They use non-intimate sex such as porn, one-night stands or prostitutes, as a way to self-soothe and escape uncomfortable emotions.”

While there are many reasons why men cheat on gorgeous women, opportunity and power are central. “Living with a celebrity can be hard on the ego,” explains Keating. “A man who is married to a beautiful, sexy woman who earns more money than him, may look elsewhere if he doesn’t feel like an alpha-male in that relationship.”

As for the traits of loyal men, Weiss says they tend to be comfortable in their own skin. “They’re not dealing with underlying issues that cause many to ‘get their needs met’ in unhealthy ways. Most would have been emotionally supported as they grew up and would have learned in that time how to be both vulnerable and supportive in intimate relationships. They also have a moral code that values trust and fidelity.”

Fidelity is a tough call on many couples, but it’s especially so in celebrity-land, where it’s normal practice to upgrade partners for more attractive models. Yet, even when a man feels he has the ultimate woman by his side, her beauty has limited value when it comes to keeping the relationship on course.

“A woman’s beauty will not keep a man from straying if he’s not listened to at home,” says Keating. “It’s intimacy, not beauty that holds relationships together.”