Watch out for the ‘bouquet effect’

IF you stuff most contemporary homes to the PVC gutters with period antiques, or insist on nothing but fine reproductions, drowning a brand new semi-d in scar-tissue reds and sombre library greens, the Keeping Up Appearances finish is just about odds-on.

It’s like Helen Mirren wearing rubber thigh highs. She might be still lovely, but it’s uneasy.

Stark but ‘correct’, Hercule Poirot Art Deco is as cold as a penguin’s tail and pure mid-century modern is pretty daft actually with poodles frolicking off the curtains and boucle crunching under the backside.