Should I spice up our sex to compete with partner’s porn use?

Q. My partner of five years has started watching online porn.

He says it’s harmless light entertainment. I should be grateful he is not having an affair, but it feels like competition. Our sex life has been fairly relaxed — which I’m happy with — but maybe I should spice things up? What do you think?

A. When a male partner in a committed long-term relationship starts to use porn, he is often surprised by a negative reaction from his partner. Many feel they are entitled to look at what they like, saying that everyone is watching porn and that it is harmless.