Revive post-baby love life with designated ‘sex date’

Q I have a loving relationship with my partner, but since the birth of our second child, two years ago, I have lost interest in sex. It’s now a chore. My partner is patient and understanding, but I know he finds it difficult. I can’t talk about it, as I feel so guilty. What do you advise?

A I am sure your two children are a wonderful addition to your lives. But, oh, the hard, ongoing demands on your time as a mother. Bringing up, and caring for, children requires learning a whole new skill set. It can be great, but also tiring.

Before children arrive the focus of a relationship is simple: man and woman. And in the early stages there is often a dizzy euphoria. But children force a couple to radically change their focus.