Living life to the Hilton

PARIS HILTON, the world’s most overrated celebrity (Guinness Book of Records, 2007), turns 30 on February 17.

She has described the milestone as “scary,” but has planned lots of parties, nevertheless. She has also said that she would like to get married and have babies this year, although her relationships — with tycoons and playboys — tend to be short-lived. Born under the easily-bored sign of Aquarius, Hilton is as industrious as ever, converting the brand name Paris Hilton into cash. At this, she is genius.

Her ability to transform herself into hard currency, and generate her own millions, is due to a multi-tentacled and continuously morphing career as model, singer, actress, fashion designer (for both humans and dogs), entrepreneur, television star, media personality, perfume and jewellery promoter, author and professional socialite (she charges tens of thousands to turn up at events). Oh, and accidental porn star — One Night In Paris was quite an internet hit in 2003, although she has no plans to repeat the role.

Hilton is primarily known as an heiress, except she’s not — at least, not as much as you’d think. Despite being the great-granddaughter of the man who founded the global chain of Hilton hotels, most of the multi-billion dollar inheritance for Paris, and her three younger siblings, was given to a charitable foundation by her grandfather, Barron Hilton, in 2007. So she’s not in for as much lolly as previously expected.

She has been labelled derogatorily by the media — heirhead, celebutante, bimbo — while describing herself as an iconic blonde on a par with Princess Diana or Marilyn Monroe (although she has denied making these comparisons). The truth lies somewhere in between, in her Forbes ranking within their top 100 ‘power celebrities’. Hilton may not have a specific career or have any special, creative talents, but she is quite an astonishingly successful businesswoman, creating millions out of her public persona.

Her earnings from film, television and personal appearances, in 2006, were said to be around $6.5m, before she ever shifted a branded unit of herself.

Paris Hilton was born in 1981, the eldest sister of Nicky, Barron and Conrad. Her great grandfather was married to Elizabeth Taylor, and her great aunt, by marriage, was once Zsa Zsa Gabor (herself a prototype celebutante). Paris attended the Convent of the Sacred Heart, whose former pupils include Lady Gaga, and was later expelled from another exclusive school. Not that it mattered. She was Paris Hilton. She began modelling in 2001 for Guess, Tommy Hilfiger, Christian Dior, Julian McDonald, Jasper Conran and Philip Treacy and was signed to top model agencies in New York, Los Angeles and London. Around this time, she began developing her image as socialite and It Girl.

Her name, reputation, and much else, received considerable exposure after the 2003 internet porn tape, but did not dent her ascension. The following year, her perfume became a best seller (“It’s really hot. I mixed all these scents together...it smells so good”), so that she released several more, for both women and men. She also ‘wrote’ a book, Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose (‘co-written’ by someone else, obviously), which was critically slated, but earned her a $100,000 advance.

More books followed, including a memoir by the dog that lives in her handbag — the Tinkerbell Hilton Diaries. Tinkerbell is one of 17 very small dogs owned by the heiress, for whom she designs doggy fashions, as she enjoys dressing them up. She has also released records, a make-up range, and starred in The Simple Life with her childhood friend, Nicole Richie, although the series was cancelled when they fell out (they made up, and made another series).

Paris Hilton is like a Bond villain, intent on global, brand domination. You can squirt Paris Hilton behind your ears, apply Paris Hilton to your face, listen to Paris Hilton on your iPod, watch Paris Hilton on television, see Paris Hilton at the cinema, read a Paris Hilton book, watch Paris Hilton having sex, see Paris Hilton model at a fashion show, play a Paris Hilton computer game, or see Paris Hilton make a personal appearance. She doesn’t mind as long as your money is being spent on her name.

Less commercially viable than the porn tape was her 2007 jail sentence, where she was sentenced to 45 days in a Californian women’s prison for parole violation in connection with driving offences. She served three days, then was sent back to serve the rest; she used the time in jail to prepare for an acting role. She was later caught with a small amount of cocaine, for which she blamed a friend.

Her next project is a reality show titled The World According To Paris, where cameras will follow her every move, from her moment of waking, in “unprecedented” access, which she promises will contain plenty of “drama”. Like everything else involving Paris Hilton, it will, doubtless, be a money-spinner. Her Midas touch remains unfailing. She may not espouse any values to which you can relate, operating, as she does, in the thin air of the celebosphere, but you’ve got to hand it to her: Paris Hilton can make money out of nothing more than aspiration mixed with gullibility. This, in itself, is a remarkable talent.