Sex File: We only make love once a month and I'm starting to resent my wife

Every so often we discuss it and have great sex — then it's back to usual. Picture: iStock 

My wife and I are in our late 30s, healthy and childfree. Our sex life used to be frequent and intimate. In recent years I'm lucky if it's once a month. I try to initiate but am often rejected; she never initiates. Every so often we discuss it and have great sex — then it's back to usual. Our marriage is otherwise cohesive. How do I handle the building resentment?

There is no right or wrong amount of sex. The only useful gauge is whether both partners are happy with their sexual relationship. However, because people perpetually lie about the amount of sex they have there are lots of misconceptions about what constitutes "normal". In your particular context, knowing what other "average" people get up to may help you both to view your sex life a little more objectively.