Sex File: My husband's phone addiction is ruining our sex life

When one partner withdraws from sex, from physical affection, from communication and from family interaction, there is often something else going on. Picture: iStock

My husband's phone addiction is ruining our sex life. He's always on it rather than talking to me (or the kids), which causes constant rows. When we get to bed he says he's tired but then reaches for his screen. How can we reconnect?

In your longer letter you explain that he isn't watching porn or texting anyone in a way that would worry you; he is just always on his phone and so he never feels present for your family. We all use our phones more than we need to and "phubbing" - an awful portmanteau of "phone" and "snubbing" - has been so regularly linked to lower relationship satisfaction that some couples therapists now report "attentional infidelity" as being as common a problem as emotional or sexual betrayal in their counselling rooms.