Sex File: What can I do to make my boyfriend friskier in the evening?

My new boyfriend only seems to be up for sex in the morning, but it means I'm missing my exercise routine before work. Is there anything we can do to make him friskier in the evening instead?

For some people morning sex is the ultimate indulgence. You wake up feeling cosy and relaxed and slide into sensuous sex with the soft warm body lying next to you. For others morning sex feels like too much, too soon. They prefer to be fully conscious, with fresh-breath confidence, before they engage in any form of sexual activity.

Time can be an issue if you have to get to work, but you can overcome that hurdle by setting your alarm a little earlier. 

Although time tends to be less of an issue after work, sex in the evening also divides opinion. For some, it is the ideal way to end the day because orgasm triggers the release of prolactin and oxytocin, which help them to fall asleep. Others feel too exhausted to have sex in the evening, particularly during the working week.

The only way to make a man who is not naturally inclined to have evening sex feel friskier is to ensure that he is completely relaxed before you initiate. That's going to be much more likely at the weekend, when he hasn't been at work all day. 

Avoiding alcohol will help, as will an early night together preceded by a relaxing bubble bath. Feeling clean, rested and sober will mimic the way he feels when he wakes up.

Getting away for a weekend can also help. Taking someone out of their "normal" environment tends to make them more open to new experiences. It is definitely worth trying to get your boyfriend to mix things up and certainly on a Saturday evening, when he doesn't have to get up for work in the morning, he should be more open to evening sex. 

During the week, however, I can see why he would find mornings preferable. Healthy men experience peak testosterone levels between 4am and 8am, so sex is a great way to make use of a morning erection, and it also delivers a delicious endorphin boost that sets them up for the day ahead.

The average couple barely manages sex once a week, so I presume that your boyfriend doesn't want sex every day. Even if he wants it two or three times during the week, it still leaves you with four other opportunities to squeeze in a HIIT class before breakfast. 

And don't forget that sex is exercise too. 

Sex in general, and orgasm in particular, increases blood flow, improves circulation and helps to boost your overall cardiovascular fitness.

It also burns calories, if not as many as exercise. 

According to research by the University of Quebec at Montreal, a 30-minute aerobic exercise session burns approximately 276 calories (or 9.2 calories a minute) for men and 213 calories (7.1 cal/min) for women. 

By comparison, the average energy expenditure during moderately intensive sexual activity is 101 calories (4.2 cal/min) for men and 69.1 calories (3.1 cal/min) for women. 

Women burn fewer calories because they tend to be less physically active during sex, but you can seriously up your calorie burn by opting for positions that make you work a lot harder.

The missionary position won't do anything to tone you up, but getting on top can provide a strenuous workout for female partners. Think 'sexercise' and your boyfriend's morning routine might suddenly seem a lot more appealing.

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