Talk To Me: I don't want to get stuck in a rut at work 

Psychologist Caroline Martin is here to answer your questions on whatever issues you are dealing with in life, from work pressure and stress to loneliness and grief

'I took up a new post during the pandemic. I enjoyed it at the start, but now find it repetitive.'

I took up a new post during the pandemic. I enjoyed it at the start, but now find it repetitive and there seem to be very few options for training or promotion. I’d like to change jobs or careers but am worried about making the wrong decision. I get anxious easily and find change difficult. However, I don’t want to get stuck in a rut. I’m single and in my late 20s.

While there is a lot of coverage of burnout in the workplace, there is not much recognition of the real risks of becoming ‘bore out’. Many of the symptoms are the same and include reduced self-confidence, a sense of worthlessness and extreme stress.

A 2021 survey completed by Capterra of employees in Ireland and Britain reported that 21% liked their jobs less after the pandemic, with 42% citing boredom with their jobs. Not only are you not alone, but you are wise to consider what action you may need to take.

During the pandemic, security and predictability were high currency factors. This is understandable when so much of our ‘normal’ everyday world was tinged with fear and uncertainty. We were asked to dial up our radar for threats to our safety and, while the evening TV bulletins may have ceased, we need some time to reset our sensors.

In the meantime, we may experience internal conflict between a desire for stability and our innate drive to grow. When we have competing motivations, we can struggle to make a decision.

You appreciate consistency and stability, but at the same time, you feel as though those values are undermining your growth. You have likely expended a lot of energy to ensure a sense of stability in your life. Perhaps, you grew up in a family where solid, reliable jobs were the golden goose, to be prized and protected at all costs.

Of course, honouring safety and consistency has great merit and has no doubt served you well. Acknowledging the worth of these values is important — otherwise, they will continue to compete with your other value of growth. There are times when stability will need to trump growth and vice versa. When you make this decision intentionally, you do it with agency and do not feel so conflicted.

There is no benefit in chastising yourself for being uncomfortable with change and berating yourself is more likely to perpetuate the behaviour you are trying to change.

Before taking action, pause and consider what you are telling yourself about this internal conflict. Perhaps you are accusing yourself of being lazy or not good enough.

Understanding the under-lying fear or sense of loss is an essential step towards self-compassion, letting go of faulty thinking, or holding a value more loosely.

You may be concerned that leaving your job for another more challenging and stimulating role will mean sacrificing your sense of stability. It may be important for you to reflect on your underlying commitment to stability. Consider how intolerable it feels to experience change. This discomfort with change may present as a recurrent theme in your life, so it may be worthwhile engaging with a therapist to explore how stability serves you and impedes your personal growth.

What got you here won’t necessarily get you where you want to be.

While your values are in tension with one another, they may not be mutually exclusive. In the context of a pandemic, the immediate need for safety and stability is apparent. However, now that we are living in a post-pandemic world, we have a greater capacity to plan for and be creative.

Stability and growth are not contradictory. In fact, we need a level of stability to step into new challenging roles. Explore where stability exists in other areas of your life — homelife, friends, health and spirituality, for example. When we shine a light on other areas of our lives, we can more accurately see the degree to which the desired change will disrupt our
entire ecosystem.

Being cautious about change is natural, and I wonder if the discomfort you feel is normal as opposed to problematic. Not all feelings are comfortable, indeed you are more likely to be experiencing growth if you are a bit uncomfortable. If you invest in a narrative that says there is something problematic about how you experience life, you are more likely to struggle to overcome life’s obstacles. Belief in your own ability is a key predictor of your future success.

‘Darling, what if you fly?’ (poet Erin Hanson)

Take care.

• If you have a question for Caroline, please send it to [e-mail]